As the baseball buzz starts to stir again with the coming of Spring sotoo does my mind twist and turn, wandering into unknown realms. As
usual, the thoughts going through my head are poignantly provoking
while bordering on the absurd. But they’re my thoughts, dreams,
visions. I own them. This is the time of year when every team has a chance, every
fan has his hope, and every imagination can entertain thoughts of
high-fiving complete strangers and pounding shots of Jameson in
celebration of a World Series Championship (for those of you in
Pittsburgh, Kansas City and Tampa Bay, those thoughts will go away March 31st). Of
course, wary of judgment or perhaps even ridicule, most people keep
these visions to themselves.
I am not most people.
Behold, 10 very BOLD predictions for the 2008 season:
1. Mark Prior Wins 15 Games
New city, warm air, nice ocean breeze, nice pretty ladies in the
stands, nice sandy tan road jerseys. No pressure as the Ace, no
Tribune reporters breathing down his neck, no dummies in the stands
throwing Bud Lite bottles at him, no Bartman, no curse, no Cubs.
Things are going to work out just fine for Mark and he will shine in SoCal.
2. Bonds Will Be Courted by Yankees Brass
Yes, by late July, the Evil Empire
will be finding themselves playing second-fiddle to a superior Red Sox
team yet again. Having had enough, Lord Steinbrenner will sell his
soul (what’s left of it) to the Devil
and go after the tainted goods. Bonds considers the offer but won’t
talk to the press about it except for saying "You’ve ruined my life. My
children can’t sleep at night because of you."
3. Allen Krause Banned from Using the Phrase "Disparate Parts" on this Weblog
4. Johan Santana Wins 20 Games with an ERA Under 3.00
Okay, so this isn’t that bold, but I gotta put it out there. The guy’s
already a freak of nature and now he’ll be in a new league facing new
victims. The guy is deceptively creepy with mad scary stuff.
5. The Detroit Tigers Miss the Post-Season
I see the AL Central as a three team race. Yes. Three teams. The
White Sox’s revamped lineup will cause fits across the division while
Paulie and Thome actually earn their paychecks this year. I do see the
Indians and Tigers battling out for tops among the rest, but the Sox
will be right on their tails and all the in-house fighting will wear on
the Tigers who have yet to perform under pressure. That, and you have
to automatically assume the Tiger’s pitching staff will make at least one error a game, many of which will cost them wins. The wild card
won’t come out of the Central, which leaves the Tiggers going home early.
6. Evan Longoria and Eva Longoria Will Be Mistaken for One Another and Scandal Erupts:
They look a lot alike, so I can see how this mistake could be made.
7. Milwaukee Brewers Win the National League Championship Series
Yes, I said the Brewers. With all the hype in New York and Philly and L.A., I feel like the Brewers have been slipping under the radar. They have an immense amount of young talent and great things are bound to happen there sooner than later. With the Cardinals weakening and the Cubs forever cursed, they will ride those young sluggers and slingers all the way to the World Series.
8. Kerry Wood Goes on 60 Day Disabled List…Twice
Some things just never change…
9. The Cardinals Will Be Triumphant in Cards/Cubs Series
Despite the revamped Cubs lineup, Fukudome will fail, Lee will get hurt, Ramirez will get hurt, the Louisiana Connection will go stale and all those whiny Cub fans will be wishing they still had Jacque Jones.
10. This Year’s American Idol Winner Will Be Ramiele Malubay and She Will Sing the National Anthem at Fenway before a Brewers/Red Sox Showdown
Some things in life are just too beautiful…
Thank God baseball is one of them.