A Rebuttal In Three Parts

Mr. Krause, you have some serious issues that need to be addressed here.  First I would just like to point out the flagrant absurdity of your most recent post entitled A Saucerful of Beagle; but before I do, let me announce that it is by no means any secret that I am quite fond of the beagle breed.  Anyone who knows me knows that Ms. Missy holds a very special place in my heart:

So I am not quite sure what you were going for with the Uno reference, or the Best in Show reference for that matter.  Interesting?  Perhaps, but nothing in those first two paragraphs made any sense, going from Steinbrenner to popular film to the world’s finest canine breed to admitting you didn’t know what you were really talking about, which I might add, was the most truthful statement of the entire entry.  This odd self-reflection was a blaring alarm warning the reader to disbelieve your extremely biased analysis of the AL Central.  Sure, there is no argument that it’s going to be interesting; it will be.  But please know, Al, I don’t make BOLD predictions without thinking them through and I am sure that the White Sox will cause the Tigers and Indians all kinds of fits.  This being said, it is obvious that you were on a different planet when you made your most egregious error and blasphemed the superior intelligence of a Grand Cardinal Nation by saying we’d finish the Central in last place while equal with the Royals in losses. 

This statement alone proves two things:

1.  You are of an inferior baseball acumen compared to the Master
2.  You are a Looney Tune

In fact, so brash and unconnected to reality were your statements that they reminded me of a recent comment seen here on this weblog:

…Winning is how the game is judged, like it or not. The Tigers have not
been there year after year. Even the pizza man could not spend them
into victory.

Posted by:
mlung@hotmail.com |
February 19, 2008 10:18 PM

in response to Faster Pussycat by Allen Krause, February 19

Obviously, mlung@hotmail.com knows a thing or two about baseball and he presents his case clearly.  In fact, his first two sentences are absolutely founded and directly on-point, and then… WHAM, the pizza man! arrives on the scene.   Whoa, wait a minute.  Who is this mysterious pizza man?  When did he become a part of the Tigers organization and how did he try to spend them into victory?  Did he promise a win in 30 minutes or less?  Was he using his tips to pay his players?  If so, then no wonder the Tigers managed to lose over 100 games twice in the last 6 years.   

**If anyone knows who the pizza man is, the pizza man that took over the errant Detroit Tigers of the 90’s and early 2000’s, please let us know by posting a comment with a clear, detailed explanation.  This monstrous pizza man who ruined the formative years of Allen’s life by running an historic ball-club into the ground with overspending must pay for his sins.


So, Al, excuse me, Mr. Krause, until you A) find out who this abstruse pizza man who has been causing you so much misery during your life is and B) see that mighty World Championship flag wafting in the winds of your home ballpark, you really have no business making such erratic statements.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.





  1. allen_krause@yahoo.com

    The pizza man is Tom Monaghan, the former owner of Dominoes Pizza. Funny enough, he then sold the Tigers to Mike Illitch, the founder of Little Caesar’s Pizza. Lot of incest in the pizza world, evidently.

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