A Saucerful of Beagle

I’m the kind of guy who can give credit where credit is due and I’m gonna start off by giving some credit to my friend, Mr. Lung. Your predictions, most of them at least, were indeed bold and I especially appreciate the Bonds prognostication. What can I say, once a Steinbrenner, always a Steinbrenner. And, if I can add in one more cliché, the apple does not fall far from the tree. Also, a dirty bird sh*ts in the nest. I’m not sure what that has to do with anything else but it reminds me of Best in Show


and that then makes me think of Uno, the cutest, most adorable little beagle in the world. Uh, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the Steinbrenners. Yes, if anyone can foil Cashman’s carefully laid out plan, it’s the new face of Steinbrenner Inc. I guess that was my point.

However, I think someone might have completely missed the boat on the AL Central. Sure,the Sox will be more competitive this season. That wouldn’t take much. The Royals will be their same old selves and the Twins are good for a couple end of the season spoilers but they won’t make a run without Santana. That leaves us with Cleveland and Detroit and your "bold prediction" that the Tigers will not make the playoffs.

Now, I can understand why you have playoff envy since the Cardinals will be lucky to finish the season 5 games under .500 with their offseason "moves" and a much tougher NL Central. But don’t be a hater. The Tigers, along with the Red Sox and the Tribe, are clearly the class of the AL. The Yankees will still be there but this is the year that their 13 year postseason streak comes to an end. Jeter isn’t the same player he was earlier in his career, Posada is not going to have another career year and A-Rod will continue to be to clutch what Hillary Clinton is to well-run campaigns. The word you’re looking for right now is "anathema."

So, let me make one bold prediction of my own. The proud state of Missouri will host not just one but two teams who not only set new records for divisional futility but who also manage to lead their leagues in losses. That’s right, the Cardinals and Royals will end the season with identical losing records and in a tie for last place in baseball. You heard it here first.

But, other than your egregious AL Central oversight and abuse of vital internet bandwidth, I think you have a nice passel of predictions there. And I fully expect to get banned. I mean, my past speaks for itself. However, I think we’d be better off to leave all this animosity behind us and get back to what really counts. Uno!



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