Despite the simple fact that 90% of the entries on this highly contested blog are written by me, let me remind everyone that this is, in theory, a site authored by two different people. Many of you know that Allen Krause, my partner/opponent/evil-twin in this baseball debate, is the blue in Blue State, the tig in Tiger, the dumb in Dumber. We started Red State Blue State because we had a nasty habit of writing extremely wordy and often hateful diatribes back and forth to one another during the baseball season; so we thought: “hey, let’s make the awful things we say available to the public!”
So far so good… at least that’s how I feel because I have actually been writing posts and having a great time doing it. But I gotta tell ya, it’s not as fun pointing out how wrong someone is when that someone disappears for weeks at a time.
I know, I know… but Al works for the Government and he’s extremely busy saving U.S. Americans from the evils of the world so I can focus on more important things like finding out what exactly a gyro-ball is and whether or not I can find Erica Hill‘s address so I can see if she’s really that hot in person. Of course, I was giving Al the benefit of the doubt — until tonight.
You see, I was in my own perfect little world: American Idol was on the television, Cardinals/Rockies game was on one computer, live scoreboards/gametrackers/fantasy stats were on the other. Serene. It really was. Then, I got a text…
“Watching ur girl on american idol rite now”
What!?!? Allen has enough time to watch American Idol but he can’t write a post and respond to the fact that he’s not a real Tigers fan or that his MLB/NFL manager/coach comparison was blasphemous or that he’s just simply retarded?
Look, I love American Idol just as much as the next sensible, 29 year-old, heterosexual, extremely single male. But I also have priorities. I understand the fine art of scheduling. I make time for the things that are important in life: baseball, CNN, Mozart. Al hasn’t been blogging because he’s been out saving the world… he hasn’t been blogging because he’s been oogling my girlfriend! In fact, while I was watching Ramiele do her thang, I was also watching Lohse pitch five scoreless innings against the Rockies. It’s called multi-tasking. I’m a child of divorce. I’m great at it.
So I have no choice but to call Allen out — yet again — on his unacceptable behavior. Readers, I invite you to do the same. Maybe Al will be welcomed back with open arms…
…like… (*cue the cheesy segue)…
How about that! During the Opening Day festivities, one thing that really excited me was listening to Steve Stone’s debut on WSCR The Score’s broadcast of the Chicago White Sox. Finally, Chicago has brought him back for good as he signed a contract to do the color commentating for the Sox full time this year. This is great for Southsiders and anyone who enjoys listening to a game on the radio. Stoney is one of the most informative, uncensored, learned broadcasters in the game. And remember, I am, and always have been, a Cardinals fan. In fact, during my childhood, Stoney was the only redeeming quality of the entire Chicago Cubs organization. He isn’t afraid to say what he thinks — because he’s usually right — and he isn’t arrogant about it. That voice? It’s like buttuh.
And now he will be affiliated with a Chicago team that can actually call themselves winners. Welcome to the Southside, Stoney.
And Al, welcome to my s***list.
I just ask that you don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.