So Alex Rodriguez makes more money than the entire Florida
Marlins team. Must be pretty hard to
live up to such high expectations – especially in a bullying market like New York. Until recently, I couldn’t even begin to
fathom what that kind of pressure is like.
…and then I (we, Allen Krause and I) became famous.
Sure, it all started out quietly, you know, like that hushing
wind that breezes across the plains accompanied by purple skies right before
the big storm. So the Detroit Tigers/Hillary Clinton comparison I made was masterfully quoted on the MLB.com homepage – big deal. Just doing my bloggin’ thang… fillin’ the role
I was meant to fill because all my sliders hung and I couldn’t get around on a
65 mph fastball. Some are born to play
ball, some are born to rant on ball.
And then it happened.
At 5 a.m. this morning I got the call:
PHONE CALLER GUY: Hey, is this Jeff Lung?
PHONE CALLER GUY: Whoa, it’s really you?
ME: Yes, it’s
me. What do you want? It’s 5 in the morning.
PHONE CALLER GUY:
Wow, I can’t believe it’s really you.
ME: Who are you and
what do you want!?!
PHONE CALLER GUY: Your picture is on MLBlog’s homepage and I just wanted to pick your brain about what it’s like to be on the internet underneath Jose Reyes?
Life hasn’t been the same since.
I walked out of my Southside apartment this morning to a deluge of paparazzi. I smiled and nodded, answered some
questions from my fans but I must be honest: it was tiresome, and I still have a day job, so I had to punch (WHAM!) one of them (one of the paparazzi, not one of my fans) to get away.
On the 29/State bus it was the same: mobs of people begging
for my autograph, picture, a Jason Grilli ERA Watch report. I obliged but I gotta admit, it was tiresome, overwhelming
and downright stressful.
It couldn’t have come at a worse time. Tomorrow I am going to my first game of the year: White Sox
v. Tigers at the Joan. Fearing more of the same mob
mentality from those who come within ten feet of my aura, I will do my best to ‘fit in’ tomorrow by wearing a disguise and I will certainly
not make any public statements. I’m sorry, but even a guy like me needs a break once in a while.
In fact, afterwards, I’ll probably have to go to Evanston — to take a breather and get away from it all.
So, while I’m relaxing, don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m beautiful…or because I’m right. Please? Okay, pretty please?