Apocalypse When?

MLB writer Scott Merkin got a little ahead of the times today in his story on how dandy it would be if the 2008 World Series became a Windy City Classic.  Here we are, three weeks into a six month-long season, already breathing air into the pipe dreams of those who embrace cutesy coincidences.  I don’t blame Scott for writing this story.  The man has to eat and I expect that someone over at MLB in charge of selling fantasies pushed him to write another what-if speculation story to conjure up the dreams of the masses.  But I can’t just sit back, smile and nod at these shenanigans.  I have a real problem with uncreative, dainty MLB story lines that serve one purpose and one purpose only: to drive sales.  I mean, come on… The I-70 Series?  Seriously?  Cardinal/Royal fans could care less. 

And now we’re talking about a Northsider v. Southsider World Series.

Excuse me while I puke.

It’s April.  AprilApril and we’re talking about the World Series already?

Would a Cubs/White Sox series be entertaining?  Sure.

Would a Cubs/White Sox series be good for the city?  Definitely.

Would a Cubs/White Sox series lead to senseless violence?  You bet.

Is it too early to be bringing something like this up through the MLB newswire?  Absolutely.

Save that intercity match-up story for the back-to-back weekend series in June.  Then, and not until then, let’s see where the two teams stand.  In June, I won’t be upset at seeing a flowery story about what-ifs and intercity rivals. 

aj.v.michael.prequel.jpgaj.v.michael.1.jpgSee, I don’t think Scott Merkin quite understands what kind of fires he has started in my neighborhood by writing this story so early.  Mark Buehrle was exactly right when he said: “There would be a lot of fights and a lot of bad stuff…”.  No kidding?  When I moved to the Southside, the first question my new neighbors asked me wasn’t what’s your name, it was are you a Sox fan? with suspiciously violent eyes.  Buehrle would go on to say there would be “good stuff” too, but let me tell ya, the bad will overtake the good and will steal the majority of headlines.  You can count on that.  Riots in the street, gang shootings, violence towards goats, these will all come with a Chicago WS because while Yankees and Red Sox fans hate each other, Cubs and White Sox fans want to kill each other.

If the two teams meet in October — which is such a far-fetched idea at this point that I am only commenting on it to seal up a thought — you’ll be able to find me in the Oppenheimer war bunkers under the University of Chicago with a six-month supply of baked beans and canned pineapple.  I’ll be out in time to see the Bears’ allegiance to mediocrity.  By then, most of the fires will be out, broken bones healed, and oxygen levels back to normal.

Or so I hope. 

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.





  1. tim.davis5@us.army.mil

    I agree with your post. It is a quite bit too soon and doesn’t really identify the fact that the Cubs choke every year, thus never allowing such an occurance to happen. However, now the Chi-town nation has false hopes and dreams to live off of for a few months.

    On a side note, you + canned baked beans + locked bunker for 6 months…

    Really?!? Really?!? How on earth are you going to survive that. Unless you have a military issued gas mask from Allen…still though. You might want to reconsider your food choices.

  2. redstatebluestate

    Good points, fellas. What’s another 15 shootings in the name of sports rivalries really? And, yeah, guess I didn’t think through my food choices too well. I recant “baked beans” and put “freeze dried burritos” in their place.


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