The Loaner

By Noah Fence, Associated Press

CHICAGO/WASHINGTON D.C. — In a surprise Red
State Blue
revelation, a
campaign aide (a guy named Madelyn) says Allen Krause lent himself $6.40 in the
past month.

Politically wounded and financially strapped, Krause
recently plunged back into the RSBS debate against his longtime foe: the
superiorly intelligent, charismatic, rising baseball-blogger-star Jeffery Lung.  This surge comes after a long hiatus where Krause
did nothing but sit back and take a vicious verbal beating.  Facing tough decisions like whether he should
pay the rent or pay a ghost writer for his questionable posts, Krause decided
it was finally time to dip into the old savings account for the much needed six
dollars and forty cents.

The loan more than doubles what he has contributed thus far.

And it’s not really working.

Though his affiliation with the Detroit Tigers is
unwavering, his dignity and reputation haven’t been so lucky.  Outsmarted, outwitted and outwritten in his
public arguments against Jeff Lung, it is evident that not only does Lung carry
the baseball message of hope into the streets, he carries it around the globe.

“Wo hen xihuan Long Jiefu. 
Ta hao bang, hen congming.  Yinwei
you ta, suoyi wo ai kan
bangqiu a!” said Chinese Minister of Defense General Liang Guanglie after
reading every single RSBS post after a busy morning of war games.

“Lung’s is a message of hope – of striving to be better, of
caring for your fellow man.  It’s a
message that made me say ‘forget pitching, let me hit and patrol centerfield'” said
St. Louis Cardinal Rick Ankiel after a star-studded performance of his own on
Tuesday night.

Meanwhile, Krause’s lack of determination and point of view
remain hindering no matter how much money he loans himself.

jim leyland monkey.jpg

“Right now, that guy [Krause] gives us a bad name.  We got a monkey on our backs.  We can’t win. 
We can’t hit.  And that guy
[Krause] ain’t helpin’ the cause here.  Get that **** outta my face,” said Tigers
manager Jim Leyland.

Though we tried to contact Krause headquarters for comment,
that guy named Madelyn said he was locked in a bathroom busy putting his foot
in his mouth.  


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