…the following is all True:
This is NOT the Cubs’ Year
If you read the Chicago Tribune you might be confused. Sure, the Second City would like nothing more than to see a Windy City Classic in October, but let me tell ya, it ain’t gonna happen. At least, it ain’t gonna happen on the north side. Racist t-shirt sales, urine trough diving fans, beer bottle throwing contests and blasphemous predictions from bench riders like Ronny Cedeno prove that a team as destined for Ultimate Failure has no chance. They may make a run, but in the end, that goat is still pissed off.
Carlos Quentin Should Be an All-Star
BA .299 HR 14 RBI 48 OBP .402
Not to mention, the man is the offensive spark in an otherwise underachieving lineup. Sox are in first. ‘Nuff said.
Florida and Michigan Delegates are Negligible
If you break the rules, there are consequences. (See Pete Rose)
No Matter What, R. Kelly Is Still a Sick, Sick Man
Who waives his right to a speedy trial? Who makes a serial R&B opera using the same melody over and over again that is so ridiculously far fetched (including midgets and flatulence) that one can’t help but laugh hysterically throughout viewing it? Who pees on another human being? Seriously, guilty or not, the man is a sicko. (At the same time, I must admit, I have seen Trapped in the Closet in its entirety more than five times.)
The St. Louis Cardinals Are In This for the Long Haul
They’re good. They’re young. They’re hungry. They’re determined.
They aren’t going away.
Hillary Won’t Win the Popular Vote
She won’t. She’s not as popular. That’s all there is to it. However, I have been wrong once, and if the gods so choose that it happen again, I can assure you that it still won’t matter. (See Al Gore 2000 General Election)
It’s the End of May and the Detroit Tigers Still Su<k
At 22-31, these guys sure are the poster-children for overspending underachievement. In fact, they might just be the new Yankees. Their situation can be easily reenacted at home by taking $1,000 cash, lighting it on fire and then flushing the ashes down the toilet.
Mr. Allen Krause Is Still Not Off the Hook
This is where I chide Allen for not being a major player at RSBS. This is where I tell him that he should write more posts. This is where I tell him he should put down the Arabic language books and pick up the friggin’ sports section and get involved!
Contrary to Popular Belief, Billy Beane Is Not Gay; Billy Bean Is Gay
Two different men (both former baseball players), two different sexual preferences. Billy Beane, the infamous moneyball G.M. of the Oakland A’s: NOT GAY. Billy Bean, the infamous whistleblower on gay antics inside the Tigers’, Dodgers’ and Padres’ locker rooms: IS GAY. Different Billys, different Bean(e)(s).
Bill O’Reilly Is an Awful Human Being
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right…