Ironically Chipper

Irony is one of life’s little gems.  Intelligently designed to point out the absurd fecundities of human thought, these cute little poking japes never fail to make me stop and think for a moment — sometimes longer than a moment. 

rusty_kuntz.jpgMilton Bradley has a very hard time playing with others.  George W. Bush lost the popular vote but won the presidency.  Rusty Kuntz showed no signs of rust nor female genitalia.  Oedipus Rex vowed to destroy the man responsible for bringing plague and doom to the city of Thebes (while all along he was the real culprit – wink, wink).  Gaylord Perry wasn’t gay, nor was he a lord — of any kind.

Isn’t it ironic?

(And no, I am not quoting her)

So imagine how surprised I was today when I decided to check out Chipper Jones’ stat sheet, to follow his progression towards hitting above .400 on the season.  Imagine the shock! the awe! the confusion! when I saw his press photo staring back at me like I was the witness to a drunken vehicular homicide in some Podunk Georgian backwoods village, sifting through a lineup. 

Thumbnail image for chipper_jones.jpgWhat on earth is wrong with Chipper in this picture!?!

Is this the photograph the Braves blast on the jumbo-tron at Turner Field when he comes to the plate?  Is this the photograph that is published in the game-day press kit?  Is this the photograph that little kids offer up to Number 10 to have autographed?

He looks like he just rolled out of his hotel after an all-night bender of booze, barfights and benzodiazepines that he topped off by wrapping his lips around a rusty tailpipe.

In other words, he doesn’t look so ‘chipper‘.

Ah, the irony…

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.






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