There’s a buzz down here on the Southside of Chicago and it’s about a man by the name of Ramirezzzzzzzz. No, not that Ramirez (we civilized US Americans don’t support inhumane c0ckfight wranglers), I’m talking about Alexei Ramirez — the most influential skeleton playing second base in the Majors right now.
I think it’s safe to say that Kenny Williams — genius as he is — had no idea that things would quite work out this way. He re-signed Juan Uribe, then traded for Orlando Cabrera and moved Uribe to second base to make room. Uribe went down with an injury and Ramirez (aka The Living, Eating, Breathing, Hitting Skeleton) took over.
Uribe’s healthy now — healthy on the bench. And as long as Alexei keeps on doin’ what he’s doin’, that’s exactly where Uribe (aka Fat ^ss) will stay.
It’s true. Ramirez has lifted not only the spirits of Southsiders the world over, he’s lifted the team and lifted the W’s. With his game-tying homerun on Tuesday night, he proved that his previous five dingers weren’t all just flukes; he proved that a skin-and-bones scrapster from the slums of Cuba could actually swing for the fences and he did it in dramatic style.
But to look at the guy it’s hard not to ask yourself, “Really?”
He makes David Eckstein look like Barry Bonds.
Not since Manute Bol has a human skeleton demanded so much attention within professional sports. See if you can see the similarities:
My biggest fear isn’t that Ramirez will suddenly lose his flare for the dramatic or his step on a two-hopper or his penchant for a good eye. No. My biggest fear is that Juan Uribe will eat him.
Rumor is Uribe has been put on the Prince Fielder diet so as not to devour his teammates. I just hope it works.
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
**ON A SIDE NOTE… Please visit the Prince of New York and sound off on why his latest experience with The Man is downright unjust. There are very few blogs that I read every single day of the week. His is one of those few. The guy knows what he’s talking about and he provides the information, research, numbers to back it up. His book is well-written, insightful and pertinent (also a great big help to fantasynerds like myself). Deleting comments on blogs is a crime. Unless a comment is so blatantly racist/vulgar that it can’t be left up for reasons that are otherwise outlined by the FCC, a real blogger who cares about what he/she does would not delete a comment. Neyer and DePodesta have proven that they’re not men enough to stand up to the fires that they helped start. So Allen and I would like to give them a great big RSBS “EAT IT!” for their idiocy, self-centeredness and blatant disregard for freedom of speech. Rock on, Prince, rock on.