Blame It On the Booze

Yes, dear readers, our venerable GW Bush came out yesterday and enlightened us with what has really been going on with the continuously slumping economy.  Folks, it had nothing to do with poor management at home, questionable foreign policies nor an ever widening gap between Red and Blue US American ideologies.  No. 

“Wall Street got drunk.”
                       — G.W. Bush

Thank the gods.  I was a tad bit worried there as I watched gas prices in Chicago soar to $4.50 a gallon.  I was just slightly disturbed when I spent $40 bucks at CVS and all I bought were paper towels, crossword puzzles and American Pie: Band Camp on DVD.  And I was a tad nervous when the doctor told me he could remove the lesions if only I put on a blonde wig, some heels and called him “Daddy”. 

But thankfully, none of that was a result of a gummed-up government overrun by lobbyists and big oil.  No.  Wall Street has just been boozin’ a bit… and that, dear readers, is certainly understandable.

Because nothin’ says America like a good old buzz.

I certainly am not immune from this.  In fact, by perusing the plentiful posts here at RSBS one could rightfully gather that we (Allen and I) are a bunch of drunks ourselves.  It’s true!  We are not ashamed!

US America is a country built on the boozing backgrounds of Europeans, Asians, Africans — all drunks!  Like baseball and apple pie, an everlasting state of drunkenness is simply the American way; Wall Street could not hide for long.

In light of this new information, let us follow the President’s lead:

Every good drunk needs his drunken hero and baseball has always provided plenty.  From Babe Ruth to Ty Cobb to Josh Hamilton, the grandest game on earth has never stopped producing inebriated icons.  Jim Edmonds was mine until he switched sides, but I’ve included his picture here still because of the pleasant company he keeps while out on the town.  Nowadays, I look to the boozing comeback of Sidney Ponson for inspiration… what a story.  And Rondell White.  He wasn’t named in the Mitchell Report because of his weakness for Tanqueray and tonics *wink, wink* but the man was a leader in the party scene. 

jim edmonds.jpgsidney ponson.jpgThumbnail image for rondell white.jpgTo these baseball heroes and a quick hangover recovery for our economy I raise my glass with you and say “Cheers!”  I also ask that you don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m (burp) right.





  1. flairforthedramatic

    Old boozy Sidney looks seriously disturbing in that picture. Lucky for him Bush looks 10 times worse lol. Ahh, and speaking of guys who don’t look right in another uniform [Edmonds] I was trying to picture Mariano in another uniform at the end of last year when the story broke out that Mo was intending to test the market… and I almost lost my mind. Can you imagine hiiiim on another team? Cashman and the Mini Steinbrenners would of needed 10 bodyguards to protect against the New York fans, who are already insane, if they couldn’t make him stay.

  2. redstatebluestate

    You’re right, V. I couldn’t imagine Mo in another uniform just like I couldn’t imagine Ozzie Smith or Albert Pujols in another uniform. I said the same thing about The Big Hurt and Kenny Williams had the audacity to not resign him after 2005. The “Mini” Steinbrenners WOULD be insane not to give Mo whatever he wants, whenever he wants it.


  3. flairforthedramatic

    Mo deserves to have more money than God. When the guy is up for consideration for the Hall of Fame, it’ll take less than a second for anyone to decide.
    Now that I’m thinking about it, you know who’d look extreeeemly weird in another uniform? Manny Ramirez. You’ve heard a bunch of times about Manny wanting to be a free agent or having trouble with the organization but honestly, the Red Sox and Manny were made for each other. No other team would put up with him.


    Ty Cobb is my idol by the way he was deticated to the game and how he made a name of himself by his work ethic. For all the Ty Cobb haters out there. Those are all lies. He never bet on a game. Yes he did punch a black guy, but he wasn’t racist and no he didn’t ever sharpen his spikes to hurt a player. He also was NOT a drunk. He had a few beers but he was NOT an alcoholic. For more details about his life and how he really wasn’t a cold hearted person. Please read his autobiography. Ty Cobb: My Life in Baseball. It is a well written 279 page book with about 15 pictures of him and teammates.

  5. redstatebluestate

    Thanks for the revisionist history, conner. But if you read enough biographies (i’ve read a few), you’ll know that he was an alcoholic and he didn’t care much for anyone who wasn’t white. Thanks for the comment. Keep comin’ back.

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