Lost in Translation


Not long ago I happened to see Ichiro Suzuki doing a post
game interview with an US American reporter.  Standing firmly by Ichiro’s side was his
translator; and all correspondences were filtered through him.  Disgusted, I couldn’t help but mumble a few
choice phrases (in multiple languages).  You
mean to tell me that in seven and a half years, Ichiro Suzuki still hasn’t
picked up the English language?  Really?  Not even a little bit?  His inability to at least try and speak the language of the people who pay him wouldn’t have bothered me when he was a rookie, but he’s been playing in the
States for a long time now — constantly surrounded by English speakers,
bombarded with English at every turn — and yet he feigns ignorance and acts
surprised when someone tries to actually use English to communicate with him.

As an ardent supporter of multi-culturalism and a strong lobbyist
for forcing young children to learn at least one foreign language in primary school, I couldn’t have been more
ashamed of Ichiro’s apparent lack of effort. 
Seriously.  I wanted to shake

And then I remembered…

I remembered that Ichiro must still have the emotional scars
that resulted from using the English he was taught in this dynamic, ground-breaking, utilitarian language

So I forgive you, Ichiro.

And I’m very, very sorry you had to go through that.  (*On a side note: I’d like to go on record
saying the Japanese are kind of weird)

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.



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  1. flairforthedramatic

    another hilarious post lol. hideki matsui doesnt speak english yet either… though sometimes it seems as if he wants to answer questions before his interpreter interprets. i’m sure he knows some. and i’m a supporter of children learning more than one language too! [even though i can’t learn another language for my life.] i would love to learn italian though. or french. they sound so cool.

  2. redstatebluestate

    I knew it! I just knew he speak it. Must be nice to hide behind the mask of ignorance while behind clubhouse doors he’s dropping an “H-bomb of F-bombs”.


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