Things I Learned On a Soxxy Tuesday Night

whitesox.tigers.8.5.08 008.jpgLet’s get something straight, folks.  Despite the stigmatic undertones preached by the Dear Abbys of the world, it is perfectly acceptable to attend social events by one’s self.  While I wouldn’t recommend showing up alone to your own wedding, taking in a baseball game by yourself is absolutely respectable — cool even.  It shows confidence and a maverick persona.

And when Ken Griffey, Jr. — one of the greatest to ever play the game — arrives in your city to play for a team you support and respect (against the dreaded Tigers no less), you show up, with or without company. 

I find that going to games by myself allows me to focus more on the game.  I don’t have to chitchat, don’t have to get up and get food or beer for anyone; I can simply watch the game.  Wholeheartedly.

Doing so causes one to become inexplicably introspective… to be alone with his/her thoughts… to flounder in the ethos that is the grandest game on earth.

And this is what I learned:

Will-Call Kiosks Should Be Open to Those Who Bought WILL-CALL Tickets:
The supposed perk of buying your tickets ahead time is that you don’t have to stand in line with thousands of sweaty, unprepared, drunk Tiger fans.  I get to the game early so I can take in the sights, smells, women… to mentally prepare for the magic not to stand in line for 45 minutes.  So, White Sox Ticket Sales Operations Manager: please turn the Ticketmaster kiosks back on.

Everybody Still Hates Magglio Ordonez:

The greatest player who never was while wearing a White Sox jersey, Maggs definitely brings out the boo-birds like no one else.  Oh-ee-oh… Maaaaaa-gli-o!  Oh-ee-oh… Hope he has security at his hotel (if you want to know what hotel he’s staying in, email me 😉

If You Show Up to a Sox Game in 2008 Wearing an Albert Belle, Ray Durham or Sammy Sosa Jersey, You Are NOT Cool:
Seriously, folks.  Let’s be real.  And no, a Scott Podsednik jersey is not acceptable either.  You want a sure thing?  Go for a Hall of Famer or a retired jersey.  Baines, Fisk, Minoso, Aparicio.  Heck, go for Dye or Jenks right now (in 2008), but buyer beware

Ken Griffey, Jr. Looks Great in Black Pinstripes:
This photo isn’t the best — that’s what you get for sitting in the upper deck — but trust me.  The man looked dapper as dapper could be in his new duds.  And the crowd welcomed him with an unconditional electric love.  It was something I’ll always remember.  It was truly a special moment.

whitesox.tigers.8.5.08 006.jpg

U.S. Cellular Should Be More Careful With It’s Ad Campaign Slogans:

“U.S. Cellular: Believe in something better”

Yeah, I do.  It’s called Verizon.

Just Because I Go to the Game by Myself Doesn’t Mean I Want to Listen to the D-Bag Behind Me Lie to His Girlfriend All Night Long:

“Yeah, so I know Minnie Minoso. He’s a good friend of my dad’s. Yeah. We go way back. You heard of Frank Thomas? Yeah, I have his personal cell phone number. Yeah, but it’s in my other phone so yeah… and well, I mean, I know Pudge but he doesn’t like to be bothered so I try not to call him unless it’s important…”

Yeah, sure.  You know Minoso, Thomas and Carlton “Pudge” Fisk and yet you’re sitting behind me in the 528 section?  Yeah, sure, that’ll get you laid.

Yes, the T-Shirt-Throwing Promotion Girl Looks Hot on the Outside, but Inside She’s the Devil:

whitesox.tigers.8.5.08 007.jpg
Sometimes the truth only comes out in pictures, my friends.

The Battery of Buehrle & Pierzynski Never Before Looked So Golden:

whitesox.tigers.8.5.08 012.jpg

Contrary to Popular Belief, the Tigers Still Su<k:
That Kyle Farnsworth trade has turned out to be beneficial for every team in the Major Leagues except the Tigers.  Grrrr.

…and finally…

Good Things Do Come to Those Who Wait:
After 13 innings, a hoarse voice and cottonmouth, I decided to leave.  Of course, in the 14th, Swish won it with a walk-off homer and now I hate myself.

But hey, at least I learned something.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.




  1. flairforthedramatic

    Ahh, I never knew you could learn so much in a game.
    “Yeah, I do. It’s call Verizon.” — LOL
    I think it’s acceptable to wear jerseys of former players even if they aren’t hall of famers and/or have their numbers retired, but onlllyyy if it’s a Yankees’ jersey. You can’t go wrong wearing an O’Neill jersey.
    If photos reveal the truth then I guess I’m the devil too. Rarely does a pic of myself come out without the red eyes. But hey, I can get away with it.
    You know the kind of fan I absolutely hate to have behind me? The guy that spends the entire game commentating, and throwing every bit of “knowledge” he has about the players or the game, despite the fact that half of it is wrong. these wannabe fans… i despise them.
    oh and you get huge kudos from me. it is uber kool to go to a game alone 🙂
    V –

  2. redstatebluestate

    Hi V! Sorry about the ‘red eye’ thing. I guess it afflicts some people more than others. Yes, THAT guy sat behind me the whole time until he left in the 7th inning (the SEVENTH inning). Loser. A Paul O’Neill Yankees jersey is much different than a Ray Durham White Sox jersey. Durham was nothing special and hasn’t played for the Sox in forever. A Sosa Sox jersey? Seriously? That was in the early 90s…BEFORE he was a Cub where he became a legend! It’s just sacrilege. Like a circle in a square hole. That’s all. And thanks for the reassurance on the going solo thing. I feel vetted now 😉

  3. rmutt4m

    I had not thought about it, but you are right, there is something special about going to a game alone (I’ve been to many). It is truly special going to a game with my son, but it really is a more intense baseball experience alone. Don’t tell Chris, but I may have to sneak off to one by myself 😉

    Michael Norton
    Some Clubhouse

  4. Nate

    I personally hate Mags because of the hair. It needs to go. Like, now.
    As far as jerseys go, I’ve always been ok with old former player jerseys as long as they were on the team for at least two years, were nice guys there, and left on good terms and weren’t run out of town. If I’d had a Cubs Sosa jersey, that thing wouldn’t be in one piece anymore. Prior would have been burned simply because…well, it was Prior. I might have kept Nomar or Todd Walker or somebody. They were nice, played decently when they weren’t hurt, and Wrigley loved them, Nomar in particular. I have a Muhsin Muhammad Bears jersey, and I’ll still wear it even though he’s on the Panthers again. I liked him.

  5. jimmy27nyy

    Hey, Jeff …

    Well, my path has finally taken me to your blog for a visit … Interesting stuff … Keep up the great work !!! … I agree, it’s totally okay to go to games by yourself. One can focus much more on the action on the field, and in the stands [it’s so true, some of the most beautiful girls go to baseball games] … Regarding some of the recent trades, what’s the reaction to the Ken Griffey, Jr. deal, in Chicago? Do the fans think he will be able to cover the ground in centerfield? … and, give my condolences to your friend, Allen [the Tigers fan, right?] on the recent trade that bought Kyle Farnsworth back to Detroit. Those late-inning homeruns can be very frustrating, right? … All Yankee fans know the feeling !!! … I don’t care if Farnsworth never gives up another hit in his career. Trading him was the best move of the year by the Yankees!!! … And, finally, I think it’s great that fans wear the uniform jersey’s of their favorite teams, and players. But, the thing that I really don’t like to see, is when Yankee fans have the “name” of their favorite player [also] on back of the uniform, with the number. The Yankee uniforms never had, and, hopefully, never will have, the names of the players on the back of their uniforms … I mean, do fans really need to have RUTH on top of #3, on the back of the Yankees uniform; or, MANTLE on top of #7; or, JETER on top of #2; etc, etc, etc … It’s something that really annoys me !!! … Hey, what can I say, those are just a few of my thoughts !!! … Take care, Jeff … and, when you get a chance, you’re welcome to stop by my mlblog any time … Jimmy [27NYY] …

  6. redstatebluestate

    Hi Jimmy, thanks for stopping by RSBS: where politics and baseball make sweet, clandestine love. I have no problems with someone wearing a jersey with a name on it, number, whatever (except, yeah, no names on Yankee jerseys); my issue is with those who wear jerseys that are outdated AND/OR insignificant. For example, a Will Clark Cardinals jersey is ridiculous. A Mike Piazza Marlins jersey is ridiculous. A Jacque Jones Cubs jersey is ridiculous. Yes, these players played with those teams — albeit briefly. They were either disliked (Jones) by the fans, or there for so short a time that their presence in that uniform had no bearing on the sense of “team” associated with the jersey. Seriously? Ray Durham’s White Sox jersey? Who does that? And yes, Allen is off in dark room somewhere crying.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s