20080928_bidenpalin.jpgIn the spirit of the times, I’d like to further explore the art of analogy by combining three apparently disparate notions into one explosive idea. As we all know by now, tonight brings us the first and only Vice Presidential debate of the season. And although both candidates were brought onto their respective teams for very specific reasons, they also both have an unerring knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

In many ways, the VP candidates mirror my own experiences as well as those of my friend and co-writer, Mr. Lung. You see, when it comes down to it, I’m Joe Biden and my friend is the very living, breathing embodiment of Sarah Palin.

Now, I know what you’re going to say. And yes, it’s true. Jeff is the cute one. But there’s more to life than that. There’s also style, substance and, of course, the swimsuit contest:

The situation becomes even more eery when you look at the similarities between the prospective VPs and the teams that Jeff and I support. Gov. Palin comes from a middle of nowhere town that no one really cares about and the same can be said of the Cardinals. Sen. Biden hails from a once great rust belt city (Scranton, PA) that, like Detroit (the team and the city), has fallen on hard times. The Cardinals deck themselves out in red, the color of the GOP, while the Tigers are happiest in blue, a Democratic color that really brings out Biden’s eyes.

The most important question we have to face, though, is whether this matchup will end up like the 2006 World Series where the Tigers’ gaffes cost them the Series (very possible when it comes to Biden) or is this like the 2007 and 2008 regular season when the Tigers manhandled the Cards (think Palin with Katie Couric)? There’s only one way to find out and that’s by tuning in at 9EDT tonight. Go Biden (Tigers, me)!



  1. Jane Heller

    Just watched the debate and you win, Allen! Not only did you give us specifics plans for your administration, but you resisted making any gaffes. Jeff, on the other hand, kept using the word “also,” which drove me nuts.

  2. allenk

    I felt pretty good about my performance, even if my hair was a little funky. Jeff just doesn’t understand how these Washington people work, doggone it.

  3. Tucker Elliot

    You guys are a riot — hey Allen, getting off politics, I know, but I’m a huge Gates Brown fan and I saw this on earlier: “Thursday also marked the 40th anniversary of one of the greatest postseason feats ever. Bob Gibson struck out a playoff-record 17 Tigers in Game 1 of the 1968 World Series.” Gates got his only World Series at bat as a pinch hitter against Gibson that game — didn’t strike out, didn’t get a hit, didn’t get another at bat, but . . . he got a ring.

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