What to do While You Wait for the Trip to End

dockellis.jpgToday is a sad day. Dock Ellis is dead. Now, to be completely honest, I had no idea who Dock Ellis even was but his greatest accomplishment makes him more than a Hall of Famer in my book. Not only did he throw a no-hitter, he did it while tripping the lights fantastic under the influence of LSD. That, my friends, is impressive. I think my favorite quote from his description of the game is, “They say I had about
three to four fielding chances. I remember diving out of the way of a
ball I thought was a line drive. I jumped, but the ball wasn’t hit
hard and never reached me.”

That’s the beauty of drugs. Things are never quite what they seem. We expect a little bit more from our politicians, though. For instance, this whole Blago corruption case is slowly turning into a long and really bad trip. Is he a big d-bag? I think that one goes without saying. Is he guilty of corruption? Well, that’s kind of open to debate. But will it be over anytime soon? Only if you consider Easter to be soon.

So what do we do in the meantime? If you live in the Midwest, there’s a pretty simple answer. You get out your snow shovels and try to figure out where you parked your car. If you live in DC, you continue debating the relative merits of renting out your apartment for the inauguration or sticking around for one of the most historic events in our nation’s history. And if you’re a Steinbrenner, you keep trying to recession-proof MLB by throwing money around like it’s going out of style.

However, you could also follow Dock’s example and drop some acid while hoping you don’t suddenly find out that you’re involved in a major sporting event this evening. Your choice.




  1. flairforthedramatic

    Wow, a no-hitter under the influence of an illegal substance that isn’t steroids.. pretty awesome achievement right there.
    About that Steinbrenner bit.. I honestly can’t believe how the heck spending $160 million on a guy [$9 million of which he gets for just his signature on the contract] while the country’s economy is in the toilet and NYC is planning to put taxes on everything from the bridges to sugary soda to overcome their huge debt, isn’t a crime.
    V – http://flairforthedramatic.mlblogs.com

  2. PAUL

    Why I thought the posting from July 9th was new is beyond me. Maybe the smell of the bouquets presented to the spouses of C.C. Sabathia and A.J. Burnett have started to kill my brain cells like in “I Am Legend”. I’ll be vampiring it up soon if I’m not careful.

  3. Elizabeth D.

    It would be a mastercard moment indeed hearing all the booos at Manny’s homecoming reception. Kinda like the ones Johnny Demon will always get.
    Interesting about Ellis and throwing a no hitter while under the influence of LSD.
    Down here in Florida, in the meantime, I can go to the beach, although I wish I was in the midwest shoveling snow because I absolutely love snow.

  4. allenk

    Julia, we’ll count the red wine as being under the influence. And sorry for leaving out New England on my list of things to do. I’ll add one now: Pahk ya cah in Hahvahd yahd. Better? 🙂
    V, I tend to think most of what the Steinbrenners’ do is criminal, especially molesting squirrels. That’s just sick.
    P, no shame in commenting on old posts, especially if they’re good ones. Which means you might want to be a little ashamed this time.
    E, I’m with you on the snow. I head to Michigan tomorrow and I’m betting there’s a ton. However, it’s only nice when you have to deal with it for a short period. After a couple weeks, it’s not so much fun anymore.


  5. Jane Heller

    Allen, there’s an article in today’s NY Times sports section that mentions your guy Trammell as deserving to be in the HOF. I don’t have the link right this sec but I’ll look for it. And since we’re doing weather reports, it’s cloudy here in California with temps WAY DOWN in the 60s. Brrr 🙂


  6. redstatebluestate

    Jane, don’t believe the hype. And oh, btw, I woke up to ANOTHER five inches of snow on top of the ten we got on Friday. Lovely.

  7. allenk

    Thanks for the link, Jane. I’d love to see him in the Hall but I don’t think it’s going to happen. You never know, though. Maybe that will be my Christmas miracle! Now, if you’ll excuse me I need to go write a last minute letter to Santa Claus, care of Macy’s 34th Street.

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