Today is a sad day. Dock Ellis is dead. Now, to be completely honest, I had no idea who Dock Ellis even was but his greatest accomplishment makes him more than a Hall of Famer in my book. Not only did he throw a no-hitter, he did it while tripping the lights fantastic under the influence of LSD. That, my friends, is impressive. I think my favorite quote from his description of the game is, “They say I had about
three to four fielding chances. I remember diving out of the way of a
ball I thought was a line drive. I jumped, but the ball wasn’t hit
hard and never reached me.”
That’s the beauty of drugs. Things are never quite what they seem. We expect a little bit more from our politicians, though. For instance, this whole Blago corruption case is slowly turning into a long and really bad trip. Is he a big d-bag? I think that one goes without saying. Is he guilty of corruption? Well, that’s kind of open to debate. But will it be over anytime soon? Only if you consider Easter to be soon.
So what do we do in the meantime? If you live in the Midwest, there’s a pretty simple answer. You get out your snow shovels and try to figure out where you parked your car. If you live in DC, you continue debating the relative merits of renting out your apartment for the inauguration or sticking around for one of the most historic events in our nation’s history. And if you’re a Steinbrenner, you keep trying to recession-proof MLB by throwing money around like it’s going out of style.
However, you could also follow Dock’s example and drop some acid while hoping you don’t suddenly find out that you’re involved in a major sporting event this evening. Your choice.