User, Beware

dock ellis.gifMy esteemed colleague and oft unfocused baseball analyst, Mr. Allen Krause, recently enlightened us all to the magical means of the late Dock Ellis’ amazing no-hit “trip” from 1970.  While he waxed on the intricately harmonious ballad that is sports-on-drugs by encouraging us to “follow Dock’s example”, as the only RSBS voice of reason, I feel it is my responsibility to post a warning to all those who find this to be a titilating alternative to the grounded world of sober sports.

Dug up by an RSBS intern, this vintage video footage of yours truly catching behind the plate proves that after consuming a wickedly toxic cocktail of magic mushrooms, Johnnie Walker Black and Mary Jane, the game of baseball becomes much more complicated than it really should be.  Amazingly enough, my manager left me in the game and every one of the opposing nine went home with a headache.  I, too, was seeing stars… but mine were of the more stimulating variety:

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy 

22 comments

  1. redstatebluestate

    I know, Jane. It must be in the air because I’m watching the Lions lose right now and laughing out loud as I do it. They ALL look drunk.
    –Jeff

  2. redstatebluestate

    The Lions will live in infamy, Julia, just like the ’03 Tigers, the ’08 Tigers and the pitching staff of the ’06 Tigers! Yes!
    V — I’ve watched that wicked Japanese pitch a million times. Never gets old! I think Moose would be more likely to pull it off as an odd windup is most necessary to make it happen 😉
    –Jeff

  3. redstatebluestate

    Well, Elizabeth, after I hit HIM, I went on to hit the next EIGHT batters in the lineup. We won the game. I don’t remember any of it. Imagine that!
    –Jeff

  4. redstatebluestate

    All over the place, Neal. I think I hit an inside-the-park homerun — twice — in the same at bat. I think.
    –Jeff

  5. mlung@hotmail.com

    I remember that day, I think we worked on that trick play for about a week before I could get you to use it in a game. After that the poor batters didn’t know which way to look for the ball. It sure broke up their concentration. I don’t think you ever won another sportsmanship award after that, but oh well anything to help the team. Baba

  6. mlung@hotmail.com

    I remember that day, I think we worked on that trick play for about a week before I could get you to use it in a game. After that the poor batters didn’t know which way to look for the ball. It sure broke up their concentration. I don’t think you ever won another sportsmanship award after that, but oh well anything to help the team. Baba

  7. mlung@hotmail.com

    I remember that day, I think we worked on that trick play for about a week before I could get you to use it in a game. After that the poor batters didn’t know which way to look for the ball. It sure broke up their concentration. I don’t think you ever won another sportsmanship award after that, but oh well anything to help the team. Baba

  8. mlung@hotmail.com

    I remember that day, I think we worked on that trick play for about a week before I could get you to use it in a game. After that the poor batters didn’t know which way to look for the ball. It sure broke up their concentration. I don’t think you ever won another sportsmanship award after that, but oh well anything to help the team. Baba

  9. mlung@hotmail.com

    I remember that day, I think we worked on that trick play for about a week before I could get you to use it in a game. After that the poor batters didn’t know which way to look for the ball. It sure broke up their concentration. I don’t think you ever won another sportsmanship award after that, but oh well anything to help the team.

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