The Saddest Man in America

sadness.jpgPoor Jeffery. It’s 2009 and still he has to deal with 2008 problems. It must be awful to deal with incompetent management. Yep, I feel really bad for you. Cheering for the team with the reigning NL MVP is almost as tough as cheering for the team that considers Farnsworth to be quality relief material. And losing Brian Fuentes to the Angels is almost as bad as losing
Chauncey Billups and getting Allen Iverson in return (seriously man, love the name but you are to low-percentage shots what Wilt Chamberlain is to loose women). John Mozeliak is incompetent, yes, but try comparing that to nearly a decade of Matt Millen.

No, my friend, you have nothing to complain about. Try being a Lions fan. Or maybe book a vacation to Gaza. Or how about growing a beard and attempting to fly out of our nation’s capitol. Now those people have complaints. You, you just have a little bit of a slump following winning the freaking World Series two years ago. Jimminy Christmas, man. You sound like a Red Sox fan.

Now, I want you to go home, wipe those tears from your eyes and then look in the mirror and say, “Jeffery, you’re better than this.” And then I want you to apologize to all of our readers. Do you think you can do that, Jeff? If not, it’s going to be into the corner with you for a timeout.


P.S. Happy New Year!



  1. raysrenegade


    Being a Lions fan must compare to my old Days as a Buc fan back when we could win 1 a year and feel good about it all. The worst part of it all is that your team has been in a lot of the games this year, but get lost somewhere between the hash marks at the wrong moment.

    Maybe the new coaching staff will see the good in the defensive unit, and the hard running in your backfield and build upon the team in the right ways and at the right speed.

    Best part about NFL football in the last 5 years, parity is only a few players away. And in that division, if you can get a stiff defense, you can get to the playoffs. Should be fun seeing who is at the helm in 2009.

    Rays Renegade

  2. Jane Heller

    LOL, Allen. Now that you mention it, why have I been feeling sorry for Jeff? His team did win the WS two years ago. So I take back my soothing, supportive comments to him. I am no longer sympathetic. There are worse things than being a Cardinals fan right now – like being a Tigers fan!

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