What In the Ahmadinejad Is Wrong With Allen Krause?

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.jpg
Sometimes I can’t help but claw my face off and scream: Is this really happening!?!?!

Apparently, it is.

My errant, crass, flagitious friend and colleague, Mr. Allen Krause, channeled his inner Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and once again said something he shouldn’t have by blaspheming the fairest of all sideline sports reporters in Erin Andrews.  All of Ms. Andrews’ gangly gawkers (me included) are hereby pissed off.  And we are tired of Allen’s unbending defiance towards she and all her… er… beauty.

It must stop.

For the same reason I can’t understand why Tyler Perry is allowed to make movies, I cannot even begin to understand how Mr. Krause is able to continually force his imprudent worldview upon the dear readers of RSBS.  Sure, Erin Andrews’ sister, Kendra, is an attractive lady.  But she ain’t no Erin:

erin andrews.jpgkendra_andrews.jpg
Unless I’m consistently finding myself in the mood for beyond fictitious hair colors and high school senior-year picture poses, I’ll take Erin any day of the week.

And let’s not forget what really makes Erin tops among the Andrews sisters: she knows baseball.  Not only does she know it, she reports it, and she looks smokin’ hot doing it.  Any time a woman can distract my ogling eyes with a learned baseball vernacular which includes the tenets of situational hitting, bullpen side-sessions and last minute lineup changes, she automatically jumps to the top of any and all lists.

So until I see Kendra Andrews get felt up by Bruce Pearl or hit on by Joba Chamberlain, I’m sticking with the better half.

To stay on the subject of my myriad intangible crushes, I can’t help but wish there was some other connection between baseball and American Idol other than my inexplicable home-wrecking obsession with them both.

Say hello to Idol‘s newest doll-face, er… I mean, Idol‘s newest judge:

kara dioguardi.jpg
This might be a good time to push aside my man-crush for Albert Pujols and get on board the Kara DioGuardi train.  You might know her for her hit songs sung by other women whom I am sickly attracted to like Carrie Underwood and Christina Aguilera as well as Mr. Krause’s cherished boy-toy hero: David Archuleta.

In any case, I’ll take a sleeper car.

rickey henderson baseball card.jpgAnd for fear that you may have missed it, folks, last night on MLB Network’s Hot Stove show, Victor Rojas and Harold Reynolds had a sit-down discussion with the great Rickey Henderson in which Rickey said: “…my mom is the reason I’m goin’ to Coopertown.”

That’s right. 


I hope Rickey still has his legs ‘cuz it’s a long way from Tennessee to New York.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.





  1. juliasrants

    Russell – MLB NETWORK! Sorry!

    Jeffry – what, you mention American Idol and no comment on the shameless hussy….errr…..singer in the bikini? And my dear, look at it this way, if Allen is off chasing Kendra, you’ll have Erin all to yourself! (Though I agree, the home dye jobs have got to end.)


  2. redstatebluestate

    Russell — Wait til we hit May… between MLB and AI, we’ll be but shadows of human beings.
    Julia — That hussy sure was somethin’ nice to drool — er, I mean, look at. Could be Season 8’s Antonella Barba… I hope!
    Jane — Rickey also ‘sez: “It was a pleasure playing with those guys Joe Canseco and Matt McGwire.”

  3. Erin Kathleen


    Maybe Allen is the Bill Clinton of RSBS and prefers trashy-looking women, while you’re the JFK who prefers attractive ones. And I second Russell’s motion, no more mention of the MLBNetwork, at least until Dish Network decides to carry it.

  4. bostonredsoxgirl46

    I’m hoping to be reporting for baseball someday! In fact, I want to be up there on the front desk, talking with people like Harold Reynolds and analyzing baseball. Maybe I’ll be the first woman to do so? I don’t want to be off on the side interviewing people–I want to be up front and analyzing!

  5. redstatebluestate

    Erin — I think you said it perfectly right there. I’ve always been the JFK to Al’s Slick Willy.
    Elizabeth — Nothing wrong with that idea. I say go for it! HR is a bit annoying after a while so go ahead and make him slide over.

  6. mlung@hotmail.com

    If Jeff is JFK does that make me Joseph Kennedy I have no experience with bootlegging whiskey and I certainly have no money, but if Jeff makes it to the White House I sure will be spending a few nights there for free.

  7. dhacks

    Jeff, if you’re Jack Kennedy, would it be alright if I’m Peter Lawford? I dont wanna be Bobby, or LBJ, Sorensen or anyone like that. Just someone who looks good perched jauntily on the arm of a sofa, smoking a cig at a party.

    Thank you for your consideration


  8. redstatebluestate

    Matt, I’m open to discussion but wouldn’t this mean you’d have to marry one of my sisters? Let me see what I can do…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s