Free Agents: Manny & I Are A Lot Alike

manny ramirez.jpgHere we are, two superstars, both unsigned.

Manny is supposedly asking for too much money; but he deserves a multi-year deal.  I am supposedly too nice of a guy; she said I “deserve better” so she dealt.

Manny is quirky; you never know what he’s going to do.  I am quirky; you know every Saturday afternoon I clean my apartment.

Manny is slow; he looks heavy when he runs.  I am slow; I continuously run into and commit to bad relationships knowing they are bad.

Manny is in his thirties; he still has the ability to take charge of a game.  I am thirty; I still have the ability to take charge of the game.

Manny plays a crappy left field.  I play a crappy left field.

Manny intimidates pitchers.  I intimidate women, who are almost as unpredictable as pitchers, so it’s virtually the same thing.

Manny will most likely hold out until he finds the right fit.

I think I will too.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.




  1. "D" The Rockpile Ranter

    Jeff, I could add a few..but that’s too easy. If I was to compare myself to any player it would be Randy Johnson. I’ll let you think about that one…Mostly because he’s big, mean and ugly and has that menacing stare that will make or break you…nice entry…D

  2. redbirdchatter

    If you and Manny had a better agent, you would both be signed by now and nesting in your new city. Boras is not looking for where you two will be happiest and most loved, but who will pay the most money for the longest time. Alas, money will not keep you warm at night. Fire the agent! Hire one that can find you a nice club (I mean, girl) and settle down.

  3. Erin Kathleen

    Apparently the link I posted didn’t work. It should be for this article. My html skills are crappy!

  4. raysrenegade

    Let’s see, “Jeffy being Jeffy”. Well, it is not as sassy as “Manny being Manny” but what does in life.

    Can’t see you in anything but a Red jersey, so the Dodgers, Rays, Mariners, Oakland and maybe Pittsburgh is out of the question. But with a little work, I could see you in the Marlins teal………..well, let me think about that one more………sorry Superbowl hangover coming on at 2 a.m.

    Just remember, as long as you intimidate women, they will not over run you. Equal footing can get you anywhere with a woman. Only put a woman on a pedestal who is wearing a mini skirt……..just kidding. “Jeffy being Jeffy” it is starting to grow on me.

    Rays Renegade

  5. iliveforthis

    Rather than taking the advice of pick up artists, take the words of Herb Brooks, “play your game.” You say it yourself, you’re a charismatic genius, there’s no doubt in my mind that you deserve someone better than a person who breaks up with you on Facebook. 😉 Patience is a virtue, Jeff; do hold out for the right fit.

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