barry bonds skinny.jpgWhat you see as the title to this post is what the kids are calling an
“emoticon”.  This emoticon in particular represents a most nihilistic
and defeatist yawn — a yawn so stretched and bored, so laggard and
languid that it cannot be adequately expressed through the four-letter
word itself.

Yes, folks.

This is what happens when I see Barry Bonds in the news again.

Are there really any more surprises left in this drawn-out saga of a tale?  Were there really any surprises to begin with regarding Bonds’ overtly obvious transmutation from skinny dude with loads of talent to Markus Ruhl wannabe who happens to swing a bat? 

At this point… does anyone really care?

Methenolone, nandrolone, exogenous testosterone, dehydroepiandrosterone, epitestosterone, shouldireallygiveahootsterone.

If only Barry would have heeded the warnings set forth by his trainer and confidant, the late great Sergei Akmudov:


Finally, we have come to the point where self-inflicted mutilation is certainly more interesting than any Bonds story to date.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.





  1. AJRoxMyWhiteSox

    I wish I could watch that video right now. But that’s a bad idea since I’m in class. But I know what it is, and I love that one. Although the Farley/Swayze one D mentioned is my all-time favorite. I think I might revolt if Bonds is ever put in the HOF.

  2. Erin Kathleen

    Sorry, Jeff, but I am going to have to defend Bonds (sort of). The government doesn’t really have any direct evidence that he was a juicer, and the new tests that have supposedly been shown to be positive are highly suspect. And I still don’t understand why they are so aggressively pursuing Bonds when there are other players (Roger Clemens, for example) who are also alleged users. It’s not like their case against Bonds is any more substantial.

    I’m not saying that I think Bonds is innocent (there is that massive growth spurt he went through when he was almost forty), but until it can be proven otherwise, well, he is.

  3. redstatebluestate

    Julia — Amen.
    RR — If only I could work in the Chippendales bit. That is a classic indeed.
    Elizabeth — None at all.
    Hardball — That’s why I’m just skipping his headlines from now on… I think… wait, who am I kidding?
    Jen — As much as I dislike the man himself, I can’t imagine a Hall of Fame without him. Before his alleged use, he was already a HOFer. It will be interesting though.
    Erin — Sure, no conviction yet, but based on these new findings, it’s pretty obvious he lied under oath, which is a crime. Clemens will get his too eventually. They’re pursuing Bonds because he’s the poster child for the PED revolution. 2001 was some year he had… well, he and his forehead had it anyway.

  4. Jane Heller

    I just can’t believe the government is spending millions on the Bonds case when we’re in an economic crisis. He should be convicted if he’s guilty, but the whole thing seems so out of proportion to the “real world.”


  5. redstatebluestate

    I agree, Jane. We could be spending that money on other important things like the American Idol Finale and installing big brother surveillance systems like microchips into our brains so we are always accounted for.

  6. redstatebluestate

    Barry doing whip-its. Now THAT’S a headline.
    Thanks for supporting my use of an emoticon, V. I feel sorta of “hip” now (not really).

  7. jimmy27nyy

    Hey, Jeff …

    Based on the reports released today [Sat, Feb 7th] by SI.com, alleging that Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids in 2003 when he was on the Texas Rangers ….. A-Rod is now the “new” news of the day, as Barry Bonds, and the Joe Torre book, have to take a few steps back in the news coverage in the media !!! … Maybe this news is an answer to the question you posed in your above post on Bonds: “Are there really any more surprises left in this drawn-out saga of a tale?” … Well, this new news about A-Rod is the surprise !!! … Very sad, very sad !!! … Anyway, Jeff, both you, and Allen, had a great run at the top of the mlblogs Fan “Leader’s List” … Take a bow, it was a great winning streak !!! … RSBS fell a little short of matching Joe DiMaggio’s 56 game hitting streak, but Julia is a great mlblogger and earned her rise to the top of this latest “Leader’s List” … She richly deserves the number one ranking on this new list !!! … But, Jeff, remember, after Joe D. did not get a hit in game number 57 of his classic hitting streak, he went on to starting another streak the next game, hitting in another 17 straight games !!! … So, “Congratulations” on still claiming your spot in the “Top Three” of the “Leader’s List”, and I am sure RSBS will continue battling it out over the next few weeks to start another streak that may then approach the great Joe DiMaggio’s record of hitting safely in 73 of 74 straight games !!! … Take care, and “Have A Great Day” !!! Jimmy [27NYY], “BY&L” … http://baseballtheyankeesandlife.mlblogs.com/

  8. redstatebluestate

    Thanks, Jimmy. As soon as I stop lamenting this A-Rod story I’ll get right back on the horse. This is just absolutely devastating.

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