Bit Tidding Tidbits

Baseball chick.jpgPut away that bottle, throw away those needles, quit workin’ that corner, folks!  Baseball is back!  Finally, we have something to live for again…

Here is but a sampling of the goings on around the league:

Alex Rodriguez Homers in Spring Training Opener
Immediately after he hit that bomb, all controversy of A-Rod’s MVP PED use and the subsequent tarnishing and questioning of his character disappeared like the hopes and dreams of Pirates fans.  Well, maybe not, but one can fantasize, right?

Ryan Dempster Has Yet to Say Something Stupid
Last year during spring training, Dempster guaranteed Cub fans a World Series title.  His foot-in-mouth silence at the start of this season practically guarantees another stellar regular season record, followed by a quick division series exit to the tune of 101 years.  Which leads me to the fact that…

Cub Fans Still Hungover from 2008, 2007, 2003, etc.
A simple stroll through Wrigleyville these days will yield much more than the average Barleycorn date-rape and trust-fund-baby all-night-party — both of which have long been synonymous with the neighborhood.  Nowadays you can still see the aftershocks of that disappointing NLDS performance against the Dodgers in the face of this guy and this guy and these guys.

Khalil Greene On Pace to Replace Ozzie Smith as Shortstop Icon
Don’t look now, but after one spring training game, off-season blockbuster acquisition Khalil Greene is on pace to hit .333 this year — which is way better than his .212 average of 2008!  While John Mozeliak sits back and strokes his pompous ego, we Joe Six-Pack fans are left daydreaming of that fifth-place NL Central finish.

Yankees Lend a Helping Hand: Willing to Pay Off the Country’s $1.75 Trillion Deficit
Okay, this is a lie; but the Yankees unwillingness to cooperate just proves how anti-American the organization really is.

Ann Coulter Is Still Crazy
An excerpt from her February 25th blog post reads:

“But as long as the nation is obsessed with historic milestones, is no
one going to remark on what a great country it is where a mentally
retarded woman can become speaker of the house?”

Ann, sweetie-pie, remember: we had a mentally retarded man with a fancy-rich last name as president for 8 years.  Let us have our speaker and please stop talking.

Indians Fans and Cub Fans Breathe Collective Sigh of Relief
Joe Borowski, possibly the all-time scariest closer for all the wrong reasons, officially announced his retirement.  There are parties in the street.  Check ’em out.

Tigers Fans Better Off Watching Hockey
After my esteemed colleague and Tigers apologist Allen Krause wrote his annual lament on the sad state of his team, one clever commenter riffed:

“When the tigers crush your soul as they inevitably will, just remember to look on the brightside, we still have the Red Wings.”

Enough said.  Thanks, D.K.

No One Cares About Blagojevich Anymore
Or Roland Burris… or Dick Durbin strong-arming Burris to get out of town… or the poor economy… or world hunger… or the climactic dictatorship of one Hugo Chavez… dude, who cares?  There’s baseball to watch!

And at last…

The MLB Network Is Seriously Affecting My Loyalty to American Idol

I apologize to all my supporters, for it is true: in my living room, the MLB Network has temporarily taken the place of American Idol. Two weeks have gone by and I haven’t watched a single A.I. episode.  I know, I know.  This situation is difficult to accept for all.  But believe me when I say it hurts me more than it hurts you.  For some reason, Barry Larkin’s nonsensical ramblings and Al Leiter’s delusions of grandeur are just way more entertaining than Ryan Seacrest’s hair and Simon Cowell’s cliche Britishness.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.




  1. Erin Kathleen

    I think Ann meant to say “a mentally-retarded woman can become the governor of Alaska”.
    Joe Borowski’s retirement makes me sad. He and Javier Vazquez were my favorite pitchers in the AL Central. Oh well, at least I still have Kyle Farnsworth.


    Jeff I have to agree on the MLB network, I recently discovered I pick up that channel along with Discovery Health. So now while im not yelling at the TV during MSU basketball games I can flip to and fro between two equally painful pieces of programming: Joe Magrane filling me in on how it is that a baseball diamond is actually a square, just slightly tilted (I think it has something to do with geology… or is that geometry.. ah well) and an orthopedic surgeon putting screws in someones femur… as I said, equally painful.

  3. redstatebluestate

    Joe — What else could it mean?
    Jenn — I would fail as well. Why do we care so much? LOL.
    Brian — It should be.
    Erin — Ah yes, Farnsy… the scrub of the scrubs. How did he get a 2 year deal?
    DK — Joe Magrane just screams “geology”.

  4. Lissi

    Shame on you for not watching American Idol! haha I am pretty sure American Idol has conspired to make sure Clemson basketball fans can not watch a single singing episode because they are all on the nights we have basketball games. They even moved one to a game night (Wednesday)! Yeah I was pretty thrilled that Borowski retired. And I agree Tigers fans are much better off watching hockey.

  5. raysrenegade

    I have found that the new American Idol format has jettisoned some good singers because of stupid song choice. Guess that is their idea of staggering changes that will make it popular again…………….Not.

    I love the comment about Ryan Dempster. He sure can make even Jim Rohm sometimes look like a genius. At least he doesn’t scream at the ball like Grant Balfour.

    Rays Renegade

  6. redstatebluestate

    Russell — You make a good point… but it also makes me feel like a Dodgers fan, y’know, don’t show up to the game until the third or fourth inning. No good.
    Chris — I know what you’re saying and I agree 🙂
    Melissa — Being an Indian fan, I know you were partying after hearing the news of blow-the-game-Joe.
    Jen — It won’t be long. He’ll say something stupid soon. I’m sure of it.

  7. redstatebluestate

    RR — For a second there, I thought you were referencing Ed Belfour (old ‘Hawks goalie from yesteryear) and I was totally confused but now I hear ya. And yeah, AI kind of lets the singers choose the song… that’s part of the game, right? Happy Friday!

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