Vexing Developments Explode Inside Cramped Locker-room Havens: Allen’s Take

team_usa_wbc.jpgA loaded topic like this can really only take us in one direction: The weirdness that is the World Baseball Classic. Pedroia and Jeter trotting off the field together after a put-out at second base? That just doesn’t look right. Wright and Rollins manning the left side of the infield? Did I miss something?

Now, I realize that this weirdness can also happen during the All-Star Game but that’s a once a year freak-fest where the players wear odd uniforms and the outcome has taken on a disproportionate level of importance.

This is the World Baseball Classic, the World Cup of Baseball. I want drama. I want to watch MLB teammates like Curtis Granderson and Magglio Ordonez whip themselves up into a nationalistic fervor so intense that they come to blows and then both demand trades. I want Jeter to talk about the toxic environment created by the presence of Red Sox players and former Yankees. I want David Wright and Jimmy Rollins to use this forum as an excuse to decide the NL East crown in the most logical fashion possible, pistols at dawn on the pitcher’s mound.

But no. Instead we get stories like this, where injured players are sticking around and other players are happy to sit the bench or take limited playing time just for the honor of being part of this team. Where’s a T.O. or a Latrell Sprewell when you really need them? Can we really allow this love fest to continue unabated?

However, there is still hope for the Scrooges among us. So far the US team has made congeniality easy by eking out a win over Canada and then pounding Venezeula. But what happens when they are faced with real challenges by way of Puerto Rico or Japan? Only then will we see what these players are really made of and what happens when vexing developments explode inside cramped locker-room havens.

But until that time I’m going to swallow my bile and cheer like a pre-pubescent girl at an early 90’s New Kids on the Block concert as the announcers rattle off the Pedroia to Jeter to Youkilis inning ending double-play. USA! USA! USA!




  1. Erin Kathleen

    Nevermind the Japanese, Team USA has to look out for the Netherlands! Or Australia. And as a Twins fan, nothing would make me happier than if Maggs and Granderson were actually traded, preferably to the International League.

  2. popejonash

    Who needs TO and Latrell now that Barkley is out of jail? If you need someone to spice up the love fest, he’s your man! I heard TO was heading north to Buffalo anyway. Ash

  3. scofid

    First, there were images of Papi and Joba hanging out at a Las Vegas trade show in the off-season. Now, we have Jeter, Pedroia and Youklis sleeping over at each other’s homes. This is too much! Bring back the bitterness! The hatred! Baseball the way it should be!


  4. trolleydodger

    Davey Johnson’s the manager. It’s only a matter of time before he splits the team into two squads and forces them to duel to the death, or schedule an exhibition game against a Chinese little league team and finish what he started at the Olympics.

  5. allenk

    Seriously, why didn’t we just put Milton Bradley on the squad? That would have been good for some hyjinks. I also like the idea of Jose Offerman on the team. Those other teams would think twice before they tried anything funny.

  6. welikeroywelikeroy

    Having AROD at third might have complicated things even more. Maybe thats why he wanted to play for the Dominican? I could see those guys (Youkilus, Pedroia) hating AROD. Not so much Jeter, he seems like a likeable enough person even though he is an arch-rival.

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