An Ode to Mouthbreathing and Crying

The last couple days have been rough for the city of Detroit. The practically hometown Spartans were annihilated by UNC’s modern day version of George and Lennie, Ty and Tyler, while the Tigers have once again managed to open the season with consecutive losses. And if the losses weren’t bad enough, Detroit’s big offseason acquisition, Brandon Lyon, has so far proven to be a huge bust.

But, it’s time like these when I like to remind myself that it could be worse. At least we no longer have to deal with Kyle Farnsworth.

farnsworth cries.jpgIn his first outing of the season yesterday, Farnsworth managed to blow a great outing by Gil Meche when he dished up a three-run, game-winning homerun to Jim Thome with two out in the eighth. Now, to anyone familiar with Farnsworth’s body of work, this certainly came as no surprise. I used to watch him throw BP during the eighth inning of close games back when I was living in Chicago in 2003. But when it happens to a team that will in all likelihood end the season 20 games under .500, well, you just feel kind of bad.

For the team and the fans that is. For Farnsworth? Hell no. He’s baseball’s living embodiment of the Peter Principle. As Phil Rogers points out in his column in today’s Chicago Tribune, “[Farnsworth] throws hard. He can’t be trusted. But teams can’t stop thinking that
they are going to be the one to make him into a top-of-the-line setup
man, if not a closer.” Just ask the Cubs, Yankees and Tigers how that worked out for them.

As an unrepentant realist, here’s how I see it. Farnsworth should not play above triple-A, the Tigers are not going to the playoffs and Michigan State never had a chance. But, I’m not opposed to looking for the silver lining. For instance, at least I’m not a mouth-breathing, inbred okie. So, there’s that. And there’s this:




  1. Lissi

    Allen I am forever amazed at your ability to find random videos on YouTube.
    Are you ripping on my fellow Missourian Tyler Hansborough? I don’t think so. Only if he’s playing Clemson is that allowed.
    Clemson does something similar to the train station thing every year. Here’s the link. If you’re interested.

  2. Erin Kathleen

    I cannot for the life of me figure out why you would leave Kyle Farnsworth in to pitch to Jim Thome when your bullpen contains both Joakim Soria and Ron Mahay. Or what Farnsy was even doing pitching the ninth in the first place. I guess the Royals are still getting used to this whole ‘trying to win ballgames’ thing.

  3. Phil Melanson

    That vid from Central Station is priceless! I really enjoy the blog too ’cause it’s unique having two seperate writers contribute to it…. I hope I can do as good of a job when I’m on my 60 day, 30 stadium tour…

    I would have e-mailed you directly with my idea, but I didn’t see either of your e-mail addresses anywhere, so if you could check out my blog and help me out, that would be awesome!

    Hope to talk to you soon….Thanks!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s