Coco Crisp = Comedy Gold

coco crisp.jpgFor those of you anti-technocratic individuals stuck in 2005 where MySpace is your second life, Andruw Jones is your homerun leader and The Emancipation of Mimi rocks your screenless iPod Shuffle, let me tell ya: it’s time to get with the program.

Join us!

And by us I mean Red State Blue State — on Twitter, the hottest albeit most meaningless social networking site that has all the kids goin’ crazy.

If you do not do it to keep up with the immediate updates of flamboyantly flippant posts authored by my oft misunderstood colleague, please do it for the comedy gold that is Covelli “Coco” Crisp.

And do it now.

Not convinced yet?

Here is but a small sampling of prolific “tweets” by the Royals hot off-season acquisition (read them; you will laugh):

i saw a guy at
todayz that looked like the deformed dude from Goonies, i have to tell
yah i got a weak stomach. He was over where i was

autographs b4 the game and i thought it was gonna b game over for me,
but i made it… PHEWW signed his ball and all. that could

have been the weirdest moment of my life!!! 4real. Anywayz bout 2 watch Golden Child, “I want the knife…_… Pleassse”

oh yeah b4 i log i went 3-4 today and we won

red bull is amaZing

Got n 2 KC last
night. That plane ride was by far the worst i’ve ever been on. i
thought fasho i was a goner. The last 5 mins of the the

of the flight the
plane was movin like a Wakefield knuckleball lol. i just new that was
it 4 me… us but we make it.

John Buck had an awesome game. Right now tryin to make a mix tape 4
after we win, what we’ve been playin is terrible

(*note: it seems Coco was just as surprised as us that the Royals won again)

i guess when i get back of this road trip ill check out the night life. im bout 2 check out im hella tired Gnite.

You see, dear readers, sometimes the creative mind is no match for stream of consciousness junkets created by extremely talented yet severely uneducated athletes.

Amen to that.

And go ahead and hate me ‘cuz I take cheap shots at verbally challenged yet outspoken outfielders… just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.



P.S. You can follow Coco *here* on Twitter.  You can follow RSBS *here*.  You can follow the yellow brick road *here*.


  1. flairforthedramatic

    I would not be surprised to see Red Bull and energy shots be banned in baseball in the future..
    Crisp seriously needs to utilize the past generation’s “technology”: a book [or two].. Then again, what else do you expect from a guy who is fine w/ people calling him Coco?
    And, though Twitter is pretty simplistic and hyped up more than it should be, I’m one of the addicted and I can’t help it.. so yes Jeffy, bring in the recruits, lol.. =)
    – V [ ]

  2. PAUL

    Crisp sounds like David Lee Roth did during his short-lived and ill-advised radio show…*

    *Dunno if people are aware that Roth is now a NYC EMT. For real. Can you imagine having a heart attack and seeing him standing over you? Personally, I’d think I was dead and officially in hell.

    …except more entertaining and actually, making much more sense.

  3. redstatebluestate

    Julia — You’ll be happy you did. Believe me.
    Jenn — Spiked with idiocy.
    V — Red Bull may be the greenies of the present. You really like Twitter that much? I still don’t get it.
    Melissa — Join the club.
    Katie — Thanks!
    Donnie — Gonna be a good one. The Redbirds put up a good fight!
    Prince — I will make sure to NOT have a heart attack in NYC. Thanks for the pointers 😉

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