Where Have you Gone, Michael Dukakis?

Dukakis_tank.jpgSometimes, no matter how hard you try, failure becomes inevitable. For instance, the Detroit Lions. Seriously, was anyone surprised that they lost all 16 of their games? Not me, that’s for sure. And the rogue’s gallery of inevitable failures includes many other hallowed names like Michael Dukakis, Bill Buckner and the entire city of Cleveland.

But it’s always amusing and somewhat awe-inspiring when you get to see one of these failures in the making. And this year, we have that opportunity. This season, the Washington Nationals, despite the acquisition of Adam Dunn and the re-signing of Ryan Zimmerman, are currently on pace to lose 161 games. I assume they’ll pick up another one or two wins along the way but this is a team that just seems built to lose.

And it’s not just the losing. The Nationals also consistently find new ways to humiliate themselves. I mean, Elijah Dukes didn’t start yesterday because he showed up
late on account of his signing autographs for little kids! And it gets better. Giving up four runs in the ninth to the Marlins is one thing but not even being able to get your team’s name correct on their uniforms is a whole new level of failure.

nationals_jersey.jpg Despite all that, I’m not completely convinced that the Nationals have claimed their place in the pantheon of losers. Have they achieved Cubs level futility with that ignominious 100 year drought hanging over their heads? Are they really 2008 Detroit Lions terrible? Frankly, I have to admit that the Nats haven’t quite earned those comparisons at this point. Their failure isn’t epic like the Cubs and isn’t quite as pathetic as the Lions. But, they do have company:

Yep, that seems about right.


-“Natinals” photo via FanIQ
-“Boxer” video via Every Day Should be Saturday



  1. Meetcha33@att.net

    There are teams in major league baseball that have never won a World Series right? Any need to continually relate losing to the Cubs.

  2. roundrock15

    After getting half of their team from the Reds, they’re slowly changing their name to the Cincinnatinals. One letter at at time.

    Either that, or Manny Acta did it intentionally to drive home a point to Dunn and Zimmerman that there is no I in team, or in Nationals.


  3. redstatebluestate

    “Natinal: One who succumbs to the power that is Natural Light (aka Natty Lite or Natty)”.

  4. Jane Heller

    Jeff, this one’s for you. I was volunteering at the hospital yesterday and spent an hour with a patient who’s rooted for the Cardinals practically since birth. He was going on and on about how much he hates ESPN because of the disproportionate attention they give NY/Boston, and I thought of you. You two would have hit it off!


  5. redstatebluestate

    Jane — He sounds like a wonderful, wonderful human being! Glad you got to chum with such a great guy! Hopefully he taught you a thing or two 😉

  6. raysrenegade

    Just the fact that Elijah Dukes is not acting like Delmon Young and actually signing for people is a huge thing. I loved his energy when he was with the Rays, but his out side baseball distractions made him a liability.
    Glad to see he is finding the right path and being a positive model on the field, and signing for kids. I loved the idea of the Little League paying his fine. You know it will not happen, but that is a huge positive step for him in his career.
    Way to go Elijah!

    Rays Renegade


  7. rockymountainway

    If I’m advertising director for Natural Light beer I jump all over this opportunity to have the “Natinals” represent the company. They could be “The Natty’s” the official team of Natural Light Beer…a perfect combination of imperfection.

  8. redstatebluestate

    Wouldn’t the written version of Ebonics be “Ebonics”? I’m just sayin’…
    –Son of Baba

  9. kingofcali

    I couldn’t believe the company messed up doing the teams uniforms. lol Washington is dumb to bench Dukes for that reason. I read the story about that. Then to say if it happens again they will send him down to the minros. If that was Adam Dunn do you think they would have told him that. I don’t think so. lol

    ~ King of Cali

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