Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em

mc_hammer.jpgCelebrity fans are an important part of sporting life. The Knicks have Spike Lee, Jack Nicholson is a courtside fixture for the Lakers and the Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles are lucky enough to have Alyssa Milano. Who shows up at your games and who roots for you tells you something about a team’s psyche. So, what am I to take from the fact that MC Hammer was not only present at last night’s Tigers game but was also supposed to throw out the first pitch?

In case you need a refresher, MC Hammer was the chocolate cookie to Vanilla Ice’s white cream in the Oreo that was the early 90’s radio-friendly rap scene. However, while Vanilla decided to try and remake his image and attempt a more hard-core sound, Hammer got busy throwing his money away on amenities like a dishwasher in his bedroom and soon found himself bankrupt and careerless.

Why does this story sound familiar? Oh, right. Because it kind of sounds like the ’08 and ’09 Tigers. $12 million on a broken down Dontrelle Willis? Why not. Similar money for Edgar Renteria? Sure thing.

Unfortunately, I guess it’s fitting that Hammer was supposed to be on hand to witness this team in all it’s glory. It’s probably even more fitting that he didn’t get to throw the first pitch because of a rain delay. But maybe we’ll get lucky. Maybe the Tigers’ pitching staff will look past the bankruptcy and personal failing and reach for something deeper, an anthem to prop up their recently inflated ERA. Three words: Can’t touch this.




  1. Jane Heller

    Speaking of celebs, I was getting ********** last night when the YES Network kept showing Kate Hudson, Donald Trump and BILL O’REILLY in the stands at Yankee Stadium. I kept yelling, “Who cares about these people. We want to see the game!”

  2. Erin Kathleen

    I guess I should consider myself lucky that I cheer for a loser team that isn’t cool enough for celebrities to be seen at. At least I’ve never had to hear Denise Richards butcher “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”.

  3. rockymountainway

    See, that’s the problem with asterisks in place of the real word. Here I am all ready to comment when now I am stuck on what Jane was getting? RSBS needs to get to the bottom of what Jane was “getting.” Hopefully it is nothing of a nefarious nature.

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