Michael Jackson Would’ve Been Great Baseballer Had He Known What the Bat Was For

michael jackson.jpgThis is not a cheap shot.

In fact, my 1979-1988 inner-child is sobbing uncontrollably at the loss of his hero — the late, great pop sensation, Michael Jackson.

As a young, impressionable child, I had but two passions: baseball and moonwalking.  One of them I held onto well into adulthood, the other I let go once things… well, once things got weird.

Still, I never lost my appreciation for the musical genius of the original M.J. and always hoped that one day he’d eschew complete facial and epidermal reconstruction in favor of good old US American past times like baseball, apple pie and rich white men screwing their secretaries. 

Turns out Michael did give baseball a shot…

But it didn’t turn out so well.

Some people are born with a bat in their hands, some are born with a microphone.  Only one was born to be the King of Pop.

Rest in peace, Mike.

Rest in peace,




  1. Jonestein

    Ultimately, I choose to remember the moonwalking MJ myself, Jeff…he was just incredible. The disfigured, post-’88 cartoon character he became…well, I hope my mind eventually tucks those images away along with the hideous light-blue uniforms the Rangers used to wear in the ’70s.


  2. Paige Landsem

    My friends and I tried to learn the “Thriller” dance by following along with the video on YouTube. We wanted to dance like Michael. Never really worked out, but at least the moonwalk and baseball can stick around.

  3. flairforthedramatic

    Haha.. exactly the kind of “tribute” to mister Jackson I’d imagined coming from RSBS.. good stuff, lol..
    “baseball, apple pie and rich white men screwing their secretaries” lmao.. ain’t that is an accurate description of america..
    – V [ http://flairforthedramatic.mlblogs.com ]

  4. redstatebluestate

    Jonestein — Could be worse, could be the ’79 Pirates yellow road unis. Eww.
    Julia — Me too, though I was in grade school 😉
    Paige — I think everyone tried that. Don’t feel bad for failing like the rest of us.
    V — That’s about as accurate as it gets!
    Hyunyoung — You’re right about that. Probably is no one more famous worldwide than MJ.

  5. AJRoxMyWhiteSox

    Oh MJ. My fondest memory will be of a video I had to make for my Spanish class in high school. I was a reporter on the scene of some tragic event, and I ended up being chased by the dancing zombies in the “Thriller” video. I was attacked by said zombies, and I learned half of the dance in order to complete the video. Good times, good times. 🙂

  6. redstatebluestate

    Jane — We’re getting to that; and I second the Billie Jean.
    Jen — We’re all still trying to learn that dance.
    Dillon — Amen.

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