The Filibuster

As a born and bred resident of South Carolina, there isn’t a whole lot
to get excited about when it comes to baseball. The Braves suck, the
Nats suck. Really, we’re pretty limited when it comes to our options.
But here’s my question. If our governor, Mark Sanford, were a baseball
team, which team would he be and why?

Charleston, SC

mark sanford.jpgBe not afraid, for the South Carolinian MLB plight has not gone unnoticed during the ostensibly offensive tenure of RSBS.  My sister lived there for a year and I remember her husband complaining that there wasn’t much of a buzz for the game at its highest level — that people got more excited about NCAA Gamecocks baseball than the Major League playoffs.  Look, I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to follow the Braves or the Nationals, as it is obvious that neither team has the “game” nor the “co<k” (proverbial as it may be) to be a bonafide winner.

That’s just the truth.

But let us focus on the crux of your question, Francis, which seems to key in on our special talent of personifying baseball entities with tangible political failures.  While this challenge may not seem as tantamount to society as our Modern Era All-Corrupt Baseball-Poltico Team, it certainly is as important in gauging the ever growing dissatisfaction of the masses and their subsequent loss of face.  Especially in South Carolina — a red state that suffered the humiliation of a US American intent on saving the “education like such as South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and” exposed on national television — the tragedy of Mark Sanford must be discussed in terms of its baseball counterpart:

The Chicago Cubs.

But wait!  How can I equate the Cubs with just another high profile politician caught in a sexy web of lies?  It’s quite easy.  Because like Mark Sanford, the Cubs are posers.

Sure, they’ve sorta passed for a wholesome bunch of merry go-gettin’ winners (save Zambrano, Bradley, Lilly, et al) the last couple of years, and they always look good on the surface — good enough to convince the analysts they’ll win it all and good enough to draw in a bunch of weekday party-goin’ drunkards from well-to-do families who are so eager to overpay for an underperforming product that they’ll even sacrifice their dignity… but in the end, let’s face it: a hundred and one years is a long friggin’ time.

To put it bluntly, both the Cubs and Mark Sanford indeed have that swashbuckling debonair, that charismatic sheen, that alluring promise of ultimate perfection.  They get higher and higher… and as soon as they try to take it all the way to the top…

…they fall flat on their face.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.




  1. flairforthedramatic

    Oooh jeez, that vid was hard to watch, lmao..
    I’m sure you just jumped at the sight of “South Carolina” in this question, didn’t you? lol.. She told the world to screw maps and rocked a lightsaber in Pork & Beans music video [ has she not redeemed herself Jeffy? Lol..
    Mark Sanford = Cubs = posers.. I don’t know much about math, but that sounds about right to me.
    – V [ ]

  2. PAUL

    You should have a quotation-writing contest for that pic. My entry is:
    “It was THESE measurements that got Maria from Buenos Aires goin’; and I ain’t talkin’ ’bout my budget. We’re talkin’ a whole NEW stimulus package!!!”

  3. phi8008

    The Mark Sanford pic is hilarious and I couldn’t agree more that the Cubs are posers. That video fits them to a T.
    I just posted an entry that covers everything from Interleague play to Billy Mays’ beard, please check it out and I’ll be sure to keep stopping by your blog here, its very well done. Here’s mine>>

  4. redstatebluestate

    V — Will check that vid out when I’m not at work. As you know, my goal in life is to never let that Miss Teen American moment die. Never.
    Prince — ZING!!!!
    Jen — Who knows. I suspect he’s a Cubs fan 🙂
    Julia — A lesson learned well, I presume.
    Phi8008 — Cubs = Posers = Eternity

  5. redstatebluestate

    Dillon — Thanks!
    Jane — I guess that description is up in the air, but on the surface (like most things), it works 😉

  6. redstatebluestate

    Emily — Good point. I almost forgot about Madoff until that verdict came down today. Still, 150 years doesn’t seem like enough.

  7. phi8008

    I’m sure if PETA somehow saw my post they’d have something to say, especially since they even got upset with Obama killing the fly. It was a joke anyway (long story), people actually got mad at me haha its cool though and thanks a bunch for stopping by, I appreciate it and could use all the followers I can get since my blog is relatively new. Thanks!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s