A Series of Serious Non Sequiturs

thinking_man.jpgBecause sometimes the world just doesn’t turn in a logical direction…

Tragically, Six Shot Dead in Chicago Over the Weekend…
…Cub fans were quick to blame the absences of a healthy Mark Prior and Kerry Wood.

Guy Tells Me I Should Read His Blog About His Fantasy Baseball Team Because “It’s Awesome”…
…said guy subsequently found not to have been laid since 1998.

Cardinals Make Deal to Land Mark DeRosa…
…he ain’t Matt Holliday; but even Matt Holliday ain’t Matt Holiday anymore.  I like this move, if for no other reason than the fact that it has caused mass hysteria for Cub fans who regret seeing him go to make room for the $30 million .232 hitting Milton Bradley.

Washington Nationals Designate Kip Wells for Assignment…

…because if Dave Duncan couldn’t fix him, no one can (nor cares to)?

Coup Overthrows Honduran President Manuel Zelaya…
…thus proving that the recipe for success in South America is violence… and dictatorship… and coffee.  Lots of coffee.

Cub Fan Heard Slamming White Sox Fan By Referencing the 1919 Black Sox Scandal, Again…

…same fan responsible for blaming six shooting deaths on the absences of a healthy Mark Prior and Kerry Wood.

MLB to Launch Streaming Video of Live In-Market Padres Games…

…this AMAZING feature comes just before you realize that a) the Padres su<k b) there are so many other, more exciting things to do in San Diego like Sea World, Chargers training camp and, of course, Mexico and c) Yes, David Eckstein is that short in real life.

Clint Hurdle Settling in as Analyst on the MLB Netowrk…

…even though his makeup gives him an orangish appearance on television, we shouldn’t focus on the fact that he was just fired by the Rockies, or that since his departure the Rockies have gone on a mad winning streak.  We should be watching Hurdle like we watch the ugly girl at the dance: with a bottle of Jack and a heart full of sympathy.

Republican Governor Mark Sanford Returns to the Office After Screwing Argentinian for 8 Whole Years…
…because apparently having bad taste is a prerequisite to running the state of South Carolina.

And finally…

Nick Green Doing A Great Job As Red Sox Shortstop…

…mostly because his name is not Julio Lugo.

Of course, Green would do a lot better job if he happened to be a healthy Mark Prior or Kerry Wood.

You know this.

So don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.





  1. Jonestein

    LOL…out loud! (Yes, I stole that line from “Monk”). Love the Green/Lugo bit! And thanks for answering the Eckstein question…as I watched the Rangers drop two of three to the Stream-Worthy Padres I was asking myself that very question…RSBS to the rescue! :^)

  2. redstatebluestate

    Cardinal70 — Will do. And I wish the coffee were the only culprit 😉
    Dillon — Thanks!
    Jonestein — That Eck is a pesky ‘lil fella. WS MVP in ’06 though. Don’t wanna mess with him.
    Phi8008 — They’re still using that mantra. Seriously.
    Hyunyoung — Sorry… but ya gotta admit, they’re not good. Just look at the loss column 😉

  3. redstatebluestate

    Julia — Yep… but again, you could put Kermit the Frog at SS and he’d be better than Lugo.

  4. steve_t

    Jeff, that was an insult to Kermit. Actually, I feel bad for Julio. Hey, I’ve got an idea: let’s hold a fundraiser for Mr. Lugo since we all know he’ll be out of baseball soon enough. I think we should raise about $9 million for him so he can get through the next year in the style he’s accustomed to. What’s that? The Red Sox are already paying him $9 million for next season? Gee, that’s awfully generous of them.

    Steve T.

  5. redstatebluestate

    Steve — How about Lugo has a fundraiser for us, for our suffering of watching him play so poorly while making so much $$$. That’s a better idea, one that even Kermit might like.
    Nick — Yes, at the very least he has some legs still. So do I, but I ain’t makin’ no $9 mil. LOL.

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