An Inconvenient All-Star

an inconvenient truth.jpgI really haven’t had that exciting of a life. There
are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting
around and complaining about having a boring life. So I pretty much
like to make it up. I’d rather tell a story about somebody else.

Kurt Cobain (1964-1994)

Instead of complaining about who isn’t going to the All-Star Game, I’d like to tell you a story about someone who is going to the All-Star Game:


Luckily, one of my best friends is a Cardinals season ticket holder.  And besides being the proud owner of Quincy, IL’s finest bar and grill (a place where even Mike Shannon has been known to drink) he also has a kind heart and agreed to take me along for all of the All-Star thrills, including acting as my official wing-man in my misguided quest for Erin Andrews glory.  Yes, that is still going on.  Admittedly, overcoming such built-in adversity will not be an easy assignment; it will be easier than overcoming the struggle against Nazi Germany (don’t tell Al Gore) but, dear readers, it will not be easy — especially since so many deserved, albeit inconvenient, All-Stars will not be present. 

Yet that does not mean they should not be recognized for their All-Starredness, no matter the capacity… so here are your RSBS All-Star snubs of 2009 whom I will proudly represent in St. Louis next week:

Mark Reynolds
Just like that frat guy named Hunter and his impervious flesh pursuit at the bar on $5 pitcher night, yeah, he strikes out an awful lot.  But he also surprises you every once in a while and hits some big-time bombs… or bombshells, whichever the case may be.

Mark Sanford

Stealing bases is one thing.  Stealing taxpayer money to bankroll an 8-year long international affair?  Now that’s All-Star material… because, well, it takes balls.  Balls of steel.

Stephen Strasburg
Being the most popular man in Major League Baseball without ever having played a Major League Baseball game is certainly something to tip your cap towards.  Just wait until you see the kind of velocity he can generate with those ears! I promise you: he is the best pitcher EVER in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD!

Sarah Palin

No one likes a quitter, but unlike Manny Ramirez, at least Palin looks good while doing it.

And finally…

Milton Bradley
As an unabashed Cardinal fan, there are about about 30 million reasons why this guy is a true All-Star.  Obviously, not one of them includes playing good, fundamentally sound baseball.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.




Something on your mind?  Want to see Jeff and Al sweat (separately, not together, eww)?  Think you got a real stumper?  Send us your Filibuster question(s) by commenting or emailing them to us at 

***Pictures of Allen shot-gunning Old Styles also welcome.



  1. Erin Kathleen

    I can’t get over the fact that Bradley is batting third in the Cubs’ order, and it’s only because everyone else is so much worse. What in the heck happened to that team, didn’t they have the best record in the NL last year? I guess everything he touches really does turn to sh!t.

  2. PAUL

    You should add Aroldis Chapman to the list with his “100-mph fastball”, the lefty defecty has been compared to Strasburg by the (think of a good word, think of a good word…overenthusiastic) media, none of whom have ever seen him pitch nor would know what they were looking at if they did.

  3. jonnnnnn

    I made the all-star post like 2-3 weeks ago before Hanley really started heating up with that RBI streak he had. Tejada has really good numbers, he’s leading the league in singles AND doubles and I still feel he should have gotten a serious look to be the starter, but Hanley probably deserves it now that it’s all said and done. Both of them are having monster years but Hanley is indefinitely a better player. Plus Miguel is one big ball of luck… his BABIP is like .345

  4. rockymountainway

    If you do get served with a restraining order and possibly arrested. I for one would love you to only speak in chinese to the police and then write all about it. I want to hear they bring in this chinese interpreter that took like forever and a day then the minute he or she gets there you talk in english… Like Picard used to say “Make it so”

  5. phi8008

    The fact that you are going to the all-star game makes me want to bite your face off I’m so jealous haha. That should be a ton of fun. You gotta take some pics and put them up here. And the Mark Sanford comment was hilarious, very good post. I just posted a very cool video along with some pics on why Shane Victorino deserves to be an all-star.

  6. devilabrit

    Now that’s just not right, telling us all your going to the All Star Game, that’s like taking candy into the classroom and not having enough for everyone….. I’d tell you to enjoy yourself, but thats like telling someone in a bar to have a drink, or a casino goer to place a bet…..
    Outside the Phillies Looking In

  7. Fenway Bleacher Creature

    Have fun! “Just wait until you see the kind of velocity he can generate with those ears!” niceeee!


  8. redstatebluestate

    Julia – I’m bring a lawyer along with me just in case.
    Jonestein – I’ll see if Ichiro is game for taking Milton’s place.
    Erin – Indeed. But in his defense, it’s been 100 years + of sh!t on the Northside.
    Prince – Makes me wonder: what is their agenda and why do they care so much?
    Eatsleep – Tejada is nowhere near the player Hanley is… but good lookin’ out for the little-big guy.
    Moneyball – I’m sure there’s a little league game somewhere in your neck of the woods. Guaranteed to be better played than a Nats game.
    Jenn – I will! Won’t be Phillie Phollower quality, but I’ll do my best.
    Tom – Wo hui a! Wo zhi yao geng tamen jiang guoyu bei!
    Payoff – Shane did a nice job of solidifying his place last night but I don’t like the ads with him begging for our votes.
    Lori – You have my word… on all of it (for the most part 😉
    Devilbrit – Your URL name has got me extremely curious. I picture you as Simon Cowell with horns. LOL.
    FBC – He can make the ball fly. Believe it.

  9. redstatebluestate

    Dillon — Will do. Unless you are willing to sacrifice your dignity, yeah, gonna be a hard ticket to snatch up. I was lucky — in the right place, right time… and I know people 😉

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