Coco Crisp = Comedy Gold, Part 3: The Day the Comedy Died

coco crisp royals.jpgDuring this summer of über celebrity deaths and disturbing political failures, I have been very reluctant to address the most disappointing development of the 2009 Major League Baseball season.  But alas, my faith (and patience) has finally come to a vitriolic end; and I have no other choice than to accept it:

Dear readers, the comedy genius of Coco Crisp is dead.

Perhaps it was always too good to be true — that the perfect storm of a fledgling, Twitter-happy, center fielder with the intelligence of a midge and a hapless baseball team touting the skills of Kyle Farnsworth would be enough to entertain me from now until October. 

Indeed, it was good while it lasted.  With his nonsensical, grammatically-challenged rhetorical tweets, Coco succeeded in technocracy where he failed as a Royal.  But then he went on the disabled list and, finally, had season-ending surgery.

He tweeted a few times after he hung it up for the year; but sadly, he has not tweeted since June 24th and the absence of his familiar incoherency has left us all grieving. 

On this day, Coco, we remember your last golden quip:

OK i officially
have a new (baseball) disease called PPA (Piss Poor Aim). Everytime i
hit a ball hard PPA kicks in. There has to be a cure.

There is no cure, Coco.  If there were, well, you would’ve done much better than .228.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.



**We tweet. And we like to think we can pick up the Coco-comedy slack. Follow us! @RSBS



  1. devilabrit

    I always wondered how he got that name, was his mother addicted to the cereal while she was pregnant with him, or was it just one of those lacklustre humor moments some parents go through when they name a child… I’m sure you will be more than capable of picking up the slack Jeff, afterall your humor makes him look like the entertainment at a funeral…do they have entertainment at a funeral? hmmm, guess I’ll find out when I eventually have one of my own, maybe
    Outside the Phillies Looking In

  2. redstatebluestate

    Jen — One would think, yes. Perhaps he is busy trying to find that elusive cure for “PPA”.
    Peter — I might take up the offer to be the entertainment for the 2009 Phillies’ season funeral… that is if they continue to self-destruct circa the ’07 & ’08 Mets. ZING!

  3. redstatebluestate

    Erin — I agree. It is my goal to be blocked by every major league tweeter. I like to think my ribbing got Coco to stop, which ultimately works against me.

  4. irishsoxkid19

    Nice!! Yeah, all the time in the world and nothing from Coco? Imagine if he was still in Boston… Well, not like it matters, not much good for the Sox since he’s on the DL. Some players still Tweet, but some should get back at it.

  5. redstatebluestate

    Emily — If I’m the reason then maybe I should lay low. I love reading the human side of these guys… even if it is disappointing at times 😉
    Holly — Coco is the best (when performing… on Twitter).

  6. redstatebluestate

    Jane — I try not to pay too much attention to his hair, but judging from the pic above, it’s at a very manageable crop 😉

  7. redstatebluestate

    Melissa — Well, had they kept Crisp, he would’ve gotten hurt and Jacoby would’ve come up anyway. Jacoby is turning into a fine player. Still has some growing up to do but he’s becoming fun to watch.

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