Hiney Bird Swap: A Tale of Two Teams & their Switcheroo

hawk harrelson.jpg“A hiney bird is a bird that flies in perfectly executed concentric
circles until eventually he flies up his own behind and disappears

— Ken “Hawk” Harrelson

Prior to the 2009 season, one would not be in error by labeling me a bonafide St. Louis Cardinal Hiney Bird.  Having not really addressed our bullpen woes of 2008, I seriously didn’t think the Redbirds had a chance at achieving anything this season. 

Obviously, I was wrong.  And I’ve apologized for that.

I did, however, look forward to an exciting new edition of my neighborhood Chicago White Sox.  And, yes folks, it does happen (albeit rarely): I was wrong… again. 


But I have to go out on a limb and defend Kenny Williams from Chicago Tribune reporter Phil Rogers who blamed much of the White Sox’s 2009 downfall on the trades of Nick Swisher and Javier Vazquez.

To quote the Hawk: “That’s just B.S.! B.S.! That’s just B.S.!”

Nick Swisher’s 2008 stint with the Sox was abysmal at best.  He underachieved in every category except rambunctiousness per game.  He was a shackle on the Sox’s youth movement and rumor had it that he was more interested in picking up chicks in the Viagra Triangle than he was picking up runners in scoring position.

Javi Vazquez never looked comfortable in the Chi.  Sure he’d get ya lots of strikeouts, but he also gave up a bunch of runs; and with Gavin Floyd and John Danks on the horizon of being dominating starters, it made sense to move Javi (and his paycheck) to make more room. 

But sometimes things don’t always work out (see Sarah Palin’s “political” career).  The ’09 White Sox have wallowed in mediocrity while the Cardinals are set to win the NL Central Division crown.

You see, dear readers, baseball is so captivating, so riveting, so followable because there is no such thing as a sure thing.  So to all you Hiney Birds (me included) here’s a lesson from possibly the world’s worst broadcaster:

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.





  1. Jane Heller

    I can’t believe you made me listen to/watch/read about Hawk! Oh, my head is pounding. But he’s right about Swisher and Vasquez. Swisher did nothing in a Chicago uniform and Vasquez excels only in the NL. They’re both Hiney Birds!


  2. redstatebluestate

    Julia — In Swisher’s case, it worked.
    Jane — My bad. And I don’t know what it is, but Swish is definitely a New York type of guy.
    Ted — I know it. Thanks!

  3. Erin Kathleen

    Nope, I am not clicking that video. Sorry Jeff, but the Hawk is insufferable, especially when the Sox win. As for Swisher, I don’t think the problem is that Williams traded him. I think the problem is that he traded him for Wilson Betemit. Nobody should ever trade for Betemit. It’s one of Kenny Williams’ rare miscalculations.

  4. redstatebluestate

    Erin — Only part you missed on that vid was him sayin’ “Screw ‘Em!”. As for Wilson, yes, that was pretty awful… especially since he was DFA’d later in the season. Still, he was more productive than Swisher was in Sox stripes.
    Elizabeth — That’s why your Red Sox should be worried going into the playoffs ;-).

  5. redstatebluestate

    Lisa — Had Swisher stuck around I don’t think it would’ve made much difference for the Sox’s fate. That’s just me being honest. Glad it worked for y’all though (sorta 😉

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