The Filibuster

I know you guys are both baseball fans so you’re enjoying the drama of
the postseason but isn’t it hard for you to get into it when your team
is no longer in the running? Allen’s team choked and didn’t even make
it and Jeff’s team made it but then choked. I know it’s still baseball
and I know it’s still the playoffs but doesn’t it kind of take
something away when you’re watching as a fan of the game instead of as
a fan of a team in the game?

Ames, Iowa

shocked.jpgJust for today, I will put aside my pretentious baseball ego and do what politicians do: answer a question with a series of questions.  This is also what mathematicians call “proofing”; it’s what women I’ve dated call “being obtuse” — what I call “playing mind games.”

If your local pub didn’t offer a Maccallen 32 year, would you tell the bartender, “Nah, no Johnnie Walker for me, I’ll just have a soda water”?

After a long night of partying that has left your stomach growling for sustenance, would you not eat Taco Bell because it isn’t “authentic” Mexican cuisine?

If you couldn’t get behind either party’s presidential candidate because they both made promises they didn’t keep would you simply not vote for the lesser of evils?

On second thought, forget that last one.

Just know this: Baseball is baseball is baseball is baseball… and a couple weeks from now, I (and a whole lot of like-minded baseball nerds) are going to be suffering from a supreme lack of entertainment.  This will be when I start looping the 1982 and 2006 Commemorative World Series DVDs; when I reread Tim McCarver’s Baseball for Brain Surgeons; when I pop in the VHS tape of Morris v. Smoltz — Game 7 of the 1991 Fall Classic — and salivate over every pitch, even though I already know what’s coming.

Yeah, yeah, yeah… it’s too bad my (our) team(s) isn’t (aren’t) in contention.  Boo hoo.  But baseball is the religion, the individual teams merely saints.  I can live without my saint but not without my religion; and you can bet that those who follow the religion of baseball (thoroughly) are way more wacky than any suicidal jihadist or hypocritical evangelical.

And yes, I do see a therapist about this… from time to time.

Hate me ‘cuz I teeter on the cliff of instability, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.




Suggested to us by the always hilarious Jonestein at BABL, Mr. Krause and I will be competing in a World Series Metaphor Competition — a Metaphor-Off… yeah, let’s call it that

Why?  ‘Cuz we can.  And we will.

But we need your help! 
As you know, Al and I champion ourselves as masters of the meandering
metaphor; and we need your suggestions.  What do you want to see
metaphorized?  (Yes, that’s a word. I made it up.)  It could be
something as simple as an individual player, a team, a rule, a concept,
whatever.  We want your ideas.  Email us at, Twitter us at @RSBS
or kindly comment on a post with your suggestion.  After selecting a
trio of your topics, Mr. Krause and I will then post our metaphors
during the World Series and YOU the reader will vote for the winner in
this best of three competition.

Don’t just sit there…. suggest, suggest, suggest!


  1. Jane Heller

    Great post. Yep, baseball is a religion all right. (An addiction too, but that’s for another time.) How about a metaphor for the umpires and their bad eyesight? No matter which teams are playing in the WS, there’s bound to be a missed call here and there. Any metaphors having to do with their floating strike zone, for ex?

  2. TribeTed

    Love when Jeff goes off the edge and goes off asking questions! : ) He’s back alright!! Don’t we all wish our teams were in the playoff run? If my Indians were in any part, shape, or form of the playoffs – you know I would be putting in the 97′ World Series, Indians vs. Marlins. And I would be salivating over how the Indians lossed to the Marlins even though they should’ve won it!

    Jeez, getting me all worked up here…. they shoulda one it!

    New post up : )


  3. raysrenegade

    I have to admit, I am a fad hound when it comes to food. Give me a Taco Bell Black Taco over the Checkers double queso burger any day.
    If I wanted authentic, I would board a plane to San Diego and cross the border into T-town and eat a few chalupas while watching………well, animal games.
    But seriously, mind games while trying to decide if someone is your life partner is part of the feeling out process.
    If she gets your type of humor or digs right back at you……she is a keeper.
    That might be the real reason I like to stay single………
    I can hunt every weekend and renew the journey every Friday night……..either that or i have gotten a reputation.

    Rays Renegade

  4. redstatebluestate

    Jane — Thanks for the suggestion. Congrats to your team.
    Ted — You’re a funny guy. Why would you salivate over watching your team lose?
    RR — Ah yes. I have had many an adventure in T-town myself. Excellent times.

  5. redstatebluestate

    Cat — Me neither! HA!
    Jenn — Yep, you’re lucky alright. Now it’s up to YOUR BOYZ to defeat the Evil Empire. No pressure or anything.

  6. redstatebluestate

    Buz — Thanks for the suggestion. And it’s good to know I’m not alone.
    Cat — I can sympathize with the pain… it ain’t fun, but it’s part of the game. Keep ya head up!

  7. xcicix

    Ah, you’re right. Baseball is baseball. The deeper I get into the offseason, the less resistant I am to my sister’s forcing the 1996 postseason highlights down my throat once more. Hey, if it goes into seven games it’ll be the latest WS ever.

  8. redstatebluestate

    xcicix — that’s a whole ‘nother subject for debate. the season is too long as it is… but I do hate saying goodbye to it.

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