The 2009 RSBS World Series of Metaphors (Game 2)

In this epic best of three game battle of metaphors — mixed, extended, absolute and beyond — Jeff and Allen pair wits and leave it to YOU, the dear reader, to decide the champion.

The humbled loser will be forced to shower the winner with a carefully constructed essay of praise. 

For real.

And now…

GAME 2

The Topic:        Jayson Werth
Suggested by:  xcicix from Bringing Diamond Back(s)

Metaphor 1:

werth_hyena.jpgJayson Werth steps into the box, a hyena scavenging for whatever scraps he can claim from his constantly shifting place in the pack. Something stolen here, something taken down all by himself there, the fear comes from never knowing what he might do. You wonder how something that looks so ridiculous could do so much damage but the crunch as he feasts on yet one more victim forces you to simply accept him for the beast that he is.

Metaphor 2:

Jayson Werth cigar.jpgAt your annual summer family reunion picnic, Jayson Werth is that fun-lovin’, cigar-smokin’, joke-crackin’ drunk uncle who never has a problem being the life of the party, on the spot, whenever he is asked.  He is also that same uncle whom your mom and dad won’t ever let you be alone with — the one who disappears every time a cop drives by, the one who considers Jager Bombs to be one of the four major food groups.

Please vote!  Tell your friends!  Do your US American duty!

The best metaphor is…
Werth the Hyena
Werth the Drunk Uncle

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12 comments

  1. xcicix

    You guys absolutely made my day!
    And I’m going to hop on Peter’s bandwagon on that picture. Man, he is West Virginia all over. And in the first pic, he looks just like he’s about to laugh like one of those annoyingly funny hyenas in the Lion King.
    But awesome job, guys!

  2. redstatebluestate

    Peter — All I can do is laugh, dude. LOL!
    xcicix — Thanks! And thanks for the great subject suggestion. We could go on about him for days…. but we won’t. This is a family-friendly place… sorta.
    –Jeff

  3. redstatebluestate

    Matt — I believe that’s the only way Werth knows how to show up, looking like he just woke up from a three day hangover.
    –Jeff

  4. Buz

    Ha! I really dug seeing him light up a stogie after the NLDS. My fave pic was the one where his wife was looking up at him, she obviously admires her man. And why not, he’s somebody’s drunk uncle! Dude’s a card but he can rake.

    Buz – http://buzblog.mlblogs.com/

  5. redstatebluestate

    Buz — He’s married?! How!?! LOL. I like that line: “Dude’s a card but he can rake.” Touche.
    –Jeff

  6. redstatebluestate

    Prince — I plead the Fifth. And I’m surprised MLBlogs didn’t censor “Snatch”. I’m impressed.
    –Jeff

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