In this epic best of three game battle of metaphors — mixed, extended,
absolute and beyond — Jeff and Allen pair wits and leave it to YOU,
the dear reader, to decide the champion.
The humbled loser will be forced to shower the winner with a carefully constructed essay of praise.
And now… the FINAL MATCH…
The Topic: Phillies Fans v. Yankees Fans
Suggested by: Jonestein from Baseball, Apple Pie & Lobster
Yankees fans are the U.S. Military. Backed with billions of dollars and stacked with the Nation’s finest, these chiseled warriors are built to destroy. And while it’s going well, they tout themselves as being the very best EVER. When things aren’t going so well they pretend none of it actually exists. Phillies fans? These are the relentless Jihadists. Playoff bound or not, they will blow you up, they will eat your children, they will terrorize everyone and everything around them; and they won’t feel bad about it, for at the end of the explosion waits paradise with 72 Shane Victorinos.
Yankees fans are Allen, dedicated but with a statistically significant percentage of ostentation. They claim to love their team but sometimes you wonder if that love is as intense as it should be. Phillies fans are Jeff, always spoiling for a fight and ready to punch you before letting you bad mouth their team. You never doubt the love but you wonder if maybe they’re just a little off.
But both have one thing in common. They think they deserve to be number one. Like Jeff and Allen, though, it doesn’t always happen.
Please vote! Tell your friends! Storm town hall meetings!