A Healthy Solution

As the health care bill moves to debate on the senate floor, partisans on both sides are gearing up for what is expected to be an epic battle. The conservatives, exhorted onward to ever greater paroxysms of religious (and irreligious) indignation by Glenn Beck and his ilk, decry the very thought of doing away with the current system that has failed so miserably. Meanwhile the liberals turn every which way but loose making a perfect hash out of what should have been the easiest sell in the history of sales pitches. And who suffers? Just the millions of Americans without coverage.

However, we here at RSBS may have come up with a perfectly libertarian solution which even our friend Jonestein could be proud of. Take a look at this video and pay special attention to the chorus:

There, did you catch it? “Have a baby by me, baby, be a millionaire.” It’s the answer to everything. What we need right now is for all the wealthy people in our country, be they entertainers, moguls, crime lords or even baseball players, to have babies by other women so they can then pay their doctor bills. It’s foolproof!

I understand that some people will have a problem with this solution, especially the people who have to get the ugly girls pregnant. But the United States was built on sacrifice. Besides, that’s what we have ugly guys like Vincente Padilla and Bud Selig for. And they need to get on it now. Trust me Bud, it’s going to be just as bad for the girl who’s stuck with you as you think it is for yourself.

Now, we could also follow the more difficult but ultimately more sustainable path described by David Goldhill recently in The Atlantic. But, let’s be honest. Americans are incapable of that much patience and this idea would require a rationality that is light years beyond our elected representatives. And that’s why we come back to 50 Cent. He let us know that it was all right to party like it’s our birthday and now he’s solving the health care problem. If only “Candy Shop” offered some sort of solution to global warming.




  1. Jonestein

    Ah LAHK it! Gonna point the ol’ Tivo at CSPAN2 and record Allen’s “Fiddy HC RAYform” proposal presentation to the Senate:


    SENATOR HARRY REID(D-NV): …recognizes the gentleman from Michigan, Senator Kraus.

    SENATOR ALLEN KRAUSE (D-MI): Yo, yo, yo, MC Pro-tem’, thas “KrausE”, wit an “E”, my Mormon Bru-THA!

    SEN HARRY REID: Mah bad, Brutha KrausE! R’spect. Thumps chest, tosses “peace-out” sign to the flo’.

    SENATOR AL: Peace. (rolls vid cart to the floor) Me an muh boyeez down at da RSBS-Hizzle, alon’ wit Fiddy, done saul’dis US America HC prollen the all-natural way…widdah booTAY…watch, learn, an’ represent!

    Lights go down on the senate floor and within seconds, Senatorial a$s is grinding to the slow groove. His message delivered, Senator Al, accomponied by his entourage, heads for the door, where a hot-pants clad, knee-high booted Nancy Pelosi fawningly awaits.

    SENATOR AL (to Nancy P): Yo, baby, les go make some shorties.
    Swats Nancy P on the tush, turns to camera, nods, and winks.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s