Preparations for the holiday season begin (for me) in June, when my epic 180 consecutive days of beer consumption starts to strengthen my tolerance for… eh… other people. Crowds. Yule tide blah blah blah.
But it never really feels like the holidays until my annual MLB.com catalogue arrives in the mail. Just look at how happy it makes me!
Of course, there are a few things that seem a bit odd, a bit off, inside its pristine pages, so before I place it next to the toilet for future browsing, I would like to point out some of the highlights.
One of this year’s most interesting offerings is this official team patch by the Baltimore Orioles (p. 24):
Wait, did I say Baltimore Orioles? I think I meant Baltimore Ravens. But it says “Orioles”. I don’t know. Forget it. I ain’t buyin’ it anyway.
Next, we focus on one of those must-have holiday treats! Indeed, this thing will come in handy to shoo away all those annoying neighbor kids who keep lighting dog doo-doo on fire and ringing your doorbell. Beware, the official MLB licensed “Forest Face” (p. 21):
Dear readers, not every publication is perfect. Typos, misnomers, glitches… these things are pretty common when producing such a large body of work. Like this picture, which is just all wrong (p. 5):
And just in case baby Jesus, Mom, Dad, Barack, Santa and the Easter Bunny are reading this, let me point out my own personal holy grail of a gift idea (p. 22):
I’m sure we can find a stocking big enough for this to fit. Or just give me a couple hundred bucks and I’ll buy the damn thing myself!
So that should be enough to get you in the holiday spirit, y’all! Don’t hate me for that! And don’t hate me ‘cuz I bear the curse of always being right.