99 Problems but a Minaret Ain’t One

Some people have problems. And some people create problems. For a perfect comparison of these two, look no further than Tiger Woods and the man my friend Jeff has decided to pick a fight with, Jay-Z:

problems_chart_tiger_jay-z.jpgThis graph clearly represents the difference between having and creating problems.

However, if you really want to see how to go about creating problems, look no further than the alpine hamlet of Switzerland. After years of carefully constructed neutrality, they managed to throw it all away in one fell swoop with their recent referendum on the construction of minarets in the country. Granted, this isn’t a foreign policy issue as much as it is a domestic perturbation but it does have an effect on how the country is perceived and that in turn has an effect on foreign policy.

C’mon Switzerland, didn’t you learn anything from Tiger and Jay? Tiger smashes up an Escalade and then tries to cover up his bone-headedness but only makes the situation worse. Meanwhile Jay “ain’t tryin’ to see no highway chase with Jake….so I pull over to the side of the road.” Hey Switzerland, are you really getting anything out of this ban? I mean, you’re kind of in the same place as Jay, right? “Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case.” Seriously, for a country that was smart enough to think up the most inscrutable banking system in history, you guys sure screwed the pooch on this one.

So, here’s my suggestion, Switzerland. Stop worrying about the minarets and start worrying about what happens when Tiger has to pull his money out of your banks to pay for the inevitable lawsuits and settlements. Money, cash, hoes. Maybe you should both be paying a little more attention to Jay.


-Graph from buzzfeed.com


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