Obligatory McGwire Mention… and Some Other Crap

mark mcgwire steroids.jpgMark McGwire Quotes (that I made up):

“I didn’t want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger or Lou Ferrigno.  I wanted to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Lou Ferrigno COMBINED!  ON ‘ROIDS!  ARRRRRGH!”

My talent comes from the ‘man upstairs’ and lemme tell ya, the ‘man upstairs’ is F***ING JUICED!  ARRRRRGH!

Yeah, I take Viagra, but just to stay healthy. It doesn’t help me bang hot chicks for hours and hours and hours at a time!  ARRRRRGH!”

Other Crap:

My duplicitous and oft abrasive colleague, Mr. Allen Krause, has been busy conjuring up all sorts of facetious baseball scenarios, one of which embraces the Selig-spawned, Selig-spun “world” World Series, proposing to pit the Major League Baseball champion against the… the… Japanese baseball… league champion?  What?

bud selig close up.jpgUh, excuse me, Mr. Krause, but… uh… insanity called, they want their madness back.

First of all, this is a Bud Selig ploy — a major league trick to make you think he’s actually working towards the betterment of the game.  Preposterous!  The World Series is called the friggin’ World Series because it boasts the two best baseball teams in the WORLD.  No Japanese champion can hang with the MLB champion.  If they could, then all those Japanese players would already be playing in the MAJOR LEAGUES! 

Ah, such treachery.  It saddens me to see Mr. Krause, someone so smart and so spry, take such a gigantic dip into the crazy-pool.  But wait.  Yes… it gets worse…

Some More Crap:

…Because somehow Mr. Krause got it in his head that once Albert Pujols’ contract is up with the Cardinals in 2011, that the perennial MVP candidate will be out to find a new, more financially sexy organization to call his home.  Mr. Krause even mentioned the possibility of seeing A.P. wearing an old English “D” across his chest!!!

Total f***ing horse****.

Sorry.  Had to go there.  Ahem…

Like the Tigers always have Ty Cobb, so too will the Cardinals always have Albert Pujols.

Don’t worry, Al… at least you will always have the image of Alan Trammell in a Tigers uni, forever.

Oh, wait.

alan trammell cubs.jpgHate me ‘cuz I pull back the curtain, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.



(McGwire image courtesy of Coffee with Adam)



  1. redstatebluestate

    Emma — That and screwing up the All-Star game… and the strike of ’94… and putting me to sleep with his boring speeches.
    Jonestein — A-friggin-MEN.

  2. xcicix

    Since when does anyone in Detroit have more money than the Cards? If they’re confident enough to go through with that dumb Holliday deal, they’ll be fine with Pujols. Don’t worry…the day he plays for the Tigers is the day I become president of the Tim Lincecum Fanclub.

  3. greg1969

    “McGwire Image Courtesy of ‘Coffee with Adam'”? What is in the coffee, pray tell? HMMM!!!…
    Like I said before, ain’t no way Pujols will be wearing anything but a Cards uni. The Cards FO ain’t THAT stupid, to sign Holliday and let Pujols go. Uh, no.
    Can’t say I like the idea of a “World” World Series, since we are already saddled with this WBC nonsense. Our season is already too long for the WBC to be a good idea. AND we’re going to do a “World” World Series? Yeah, right.
    I already don’t like the WBC (we are dealing with Dice-K’s moronic decision-making leading up to–and during–the WBC, and it cost us dearly). Now we’re going to add something else to this? If we needed more proof that Selig is a moron?…
    Gotta love the “What McGwire Really Meant” quotes! 😉

  4. redstatebluestate

    Yeah, Greg, that Dice-K stuff did hurt you last season. He always had a rigorous throwing schedule though so I’m not sure his workload was much different. Who knows. He’s the worst best pitcher out there. He’ll walk 6 or 7 but he’ll win the game somehow.

  5. redstatebluestate

    Jane — Al is still dizzy from that knockout punch in 2006… wait til the Trammell thing really sets in 🙂

  6. ez_mac71

    WHAT??????????? Are you saying that Performance Enhancing Drugs were Drugs that McGwire took to Enhance his Performance??????????? I still don’t believe it.
    I can’t wait until Pujols signs with the Tigers next season…which means that the Tigers will have to trade Miggy (probably to my Red Sox) to clear room because, god knows, they don’t want to replace Inge…he is the best third baseman in baseball (or at least in the top 30).

  7. redstatebluestate

    EZ_Mac — Haha. Dare I say ye are crazy? If AP wears a Tigers jersey I’ll move to the moon.

  8. theheirloom

    LOL! Jeff, those quotes (and the commentary for each one) are hilarious!

    I must say that watching the McGwire interview on MLB Network was like watching Jimmy Swaggart crying “I have sinned!” years ago. Was he crying on cue? Did he not get the memo from Tom Hanks? Oy!

    Oh, and Allen – *buzzzzz* – wrong answer! Pujols is staying put in St. Louis. Otherwise, the city and the team loses millions of dollars of revenue and half of its capacity on all Southwest flights going into Lambert.

    Just sayin’!


  9. redstatebluestate

    Trolley Dodger — I know!
    Cici — Got it. I won’t make such an understatement again 😉
    Randy — Thanks for the comment. And yes, I think Al gets the point now that we’ve adequately steered him away from error 🙂

  10. raysrenegade

    Big Mac might have forgotten that Viagra also is used to masked anabolic steroid use by increasing the circulation of your blood throughout the body.
    But then again, he wants to be “strong like Bull!”
    What is really amazing is that even with the announcement that Sir Bud might step down finally, he will nor do so before the MLB/MLBPA collective bargaining agreement is sign, sealed and delivered…Oh Yeah!
    That might actually be his legacy. He has moments in the past where all his good can be overshadowed by tied All Star games and Wet weather World Series games (I love rain, but not in Philly) and the additon of a powerful statement on his way out will seal his legacy…….maybe.

    Rays Renegade


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s