In a further sign that international diplomacy involves about as much maturity as A-Rod running the bases, the upcoming Islamic Games were canceled in a row over the correct name of the Persian….I mean the Arabian……I mean the Gulf. Sure, they may say that it was about health concerns, mainly Swine Flu, but make no mistake. This was all about the name of that infamous body of water between Iran and the Arabian peninsula.
You want context? Think about what would happen if the delightful residents of Chicago decided to start referring to Lake Michigan as Lake Illinois. Yeah, that just wouldn’t fly. Besides, everyone knows that Illinois is just a third-rate state that only pretends to be American. It only makes sense that the lake is named after the the obviously superior State of Michigan. In fact, that’s the reason why Lake Superior is so aptly named; it’s in the superior state of Michigan.
Now, if you think the preceding paragraph presents a clear and coherent viewpoint, congratulations! You just might have what it takes to be a diplomat! However, if you think it sounds absolutely ridiculous then I’ll present you with one more possible solution. We send Jose Offerman into the next meeting of the Islamic Games’ governing council and let him settle things the way that only he can.