“No Man Knows the Day or the Hour” Except Maybe Tupac

sky god.jpgWhy anyone gifted enough to become a Major League Baseball player would ever give it all up to pursue a priesthood that follows an entity as tangible as the tooth fairy is certainly a question I cannot answer.

Perhaps Grant Desme can.

Because after a promising minor league career in the Oakland A’s organization, Desme got a call from God (I hope it wasn’t a collect call ‘cuz gee whiz the sky is way high up and way far away!) and now he’s leaving baseball all together… to become a priest.

Yeah.  Okay.  Have fun with that, dude.

If you can, Mr. Desme, please hurry up and learn all there is to learn about the church so you can answer the questions this guy can’t:

First of all, Tupac did know he was gonna die.  He also knew he was gonna die young.  He said it many times.  And it’s on the internet.

Secondly, being a black man does not automatically make you an authority on Tupac.  I am white; but I know more about Tupac than I do about myself.  So eat it, pal.

And finally, if you have watched “all the videos on Tupac” you would know that Tupac prophesied  his own, early, tragic death… that he and Jesus are in the same category (both saviors to many, both prolific speakers, both attained mythic status), only we have more proof that Tupac rose from the dead than we do Jesus.

Grant Desme, you have a lot of work ahead of you in setting the story straight.  Good luck, and hopefully we will all meet up at that great “gangsta party” in the sky.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.



P.S. I really appreciate the idea of you all helping me find a woman to take out on a date. That is very kind of you; maybe I should help Allen find a boyfriend on the internet. It’s been a while since he’s dated a real nice guy, you know, so maybe I should help him out. I mean, that’s what friends are for.



  1. theheirloom

    Ok, Jeff, this guy on the video – if he was comparing Jesus with DMX (Earl Simmons) instead, I’d be rolling even harder!

    And, Desme – retirement for how many years of service?!? NONE in the MLB! Oh, Jesus Chr…


  2. Jonestein

    What a Moron. On the bright side, it’ll be one less idjit pointing up at the sky after on-field accomplishments that have nothing to do with imaginary friends.

  3. redstatebluestate

    Randy — D-M-X, AND MY DAWGS BITE!
    Jonestein — Idjit… I like that one. I’d like to thank my family and god, the man upstairs, for enlightening me to “idjit”. lol.
    Michael — Hahaha! That’s what my teachers said when I was bringing his music to class in jr. high.
    Cat — It’s his decision. I won’t judge… but I know I wouldn’t have done it. Wish I could trade places with the guy!
    Cici — Yep. Nothin’ happenin… especially if your name is Johnny Damon 🙂

  4. xcicix

    The really appalling part was that it was “major news” on MLB. It just goes to show that absolutely nothing is happening. That and “Emo A-Roid Cries Over New York Baseball Writers’ Award While Sounding Thouroughly Conceited”.

  5. ez_mac71

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA….where do they find these people? Bob Marley is the true savior and one day he will let down his dreads so we can all climb to the promised land.

  6. ez_mac71

    Oh yeah…almost forgot…I know this really, really NICE guy that your friend might be interested in…just playin’. Congrats on the #2 fellas.

  7. redstatebluestate

    EZ_Mac — Haha! I’m sure Al will want to know more about this “guy”…
    Indians — Good call. Let’s see if we can find some funding for that 😉

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