CNN’s Attempt at Pertinence

cnn.jpgThank you CNN!  After writing you off based on Wolf Blitzer’s pathetic yet oddly narcissistic pandering, Larry King’s flatulent foibles and a sense that your best days ended right around the same time as the first Gulf War, you finally managed to pull out some reporting that appeals to me.

Now, perhaps I’m just as guilty as Mr. Blitzer in that this article panders to the narcissistic aspects of my nature.  But I’d still like to believe that it’s true.  Despite committing a basic logical fallacy by implying a reverse correlation which may not actually exist, I still think it stands to reason that if higher IQ leads to liberalism and atheism, the fact that I am liberal and atheist means that my IQ is above normal.

Unfortunately, this correlation would have to work in another way as well.  For instance, as we have seen many times in these pages, I am a baseball liberal while Jeff is an uber-conservative.  If it were up to him, baseball players would still wear wool uniforms and use the outfield between innings as prime grazing land for their prize herds of goats.  Although quaint and charming, these ideas also lead us to assume that perhaps Jeff was hit in the head with a baseball one too many times as a child.

One final point.  The article mentions sexual exclusivity as being another trait common to men with higher IQs.  And while no one would ever claim that Jeff had feelings for another NL team, he is a self-professed White Sox dilettante making him a bigamist at best.  Me, I bleed Tiger blue and often experience stigmata in the shape of an old English “D.”  I am faithful to the Tigers to the point of willful ignorance concerning the other 31 or however many teams there are in Major League Baseball.  Maybe you’re not impressed but that’s a level even a Fox News anchor would struggle to achieve.




  1. Jonestein

    I seem to recall some rather scandalous photos of Mr. “Faithful to the Tigers” in the RSBS archives that tell another tale. Perhaps “Faithful as Tiger” would be more accurate. Better get the RSBS Interns busy redacting the archives.

  2. TribeTed

    Allen, after seeing that rerun you and Jeff had of the David Archuleta song, I can see how you hypothesize Jeff was hit one too many times on the head as a kid. But you still can’t prove to me that your better than Jeff, no matter how many names you call him…


  3. devilabrit

    This post appears to be nothing more than an oxymoronic post, (I think I just made that word up), anyway how can the 2nd paragraph lay claims to a higher than average IQ and yet further on in the post lay claims to have un-dying love for the Tigers, that in itself indicates a well below average IQ and since an IQ is nothing more than a scale of answered “Idiot Questions” to rank yourself on this scale indicates a low IQ, I wouldn’t want anyone to think I was calling Al an idiot or stupid, but if the show fits….:-)
    Outside the Phillies Looking In

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