Royals’ Intrasquad Games Best Chance to See a Royals WIN!

royals skull.jpgSometimes I worry that I beat the same tired joke into the ground, causing dear readers galore to groan, growl and grow weary of my tasteless ways.

And then I will run across a headline, like this one on, and realize that all of my spew is actually rim-shot-worthy material just writing itself at tremendous speed.  The part I play is actually quite minuscule as I am merely an ebullient conduit for said spew.  Any negative repercussions are clearly someone else’s fault (I’m the oldest of seven kids, so I’m an expert at redirecting blame).

But to be perfectly clear, I do not want to be the Matt Drudge of Major League Baseball — one who takes simple news stories with rigid headlines and turns them into bits of sultry, one-sided crap by reconstructing their titles with right wing conservative Christian buzz words in large red font with quotation marks ad nauseum (this is also known as fear mongering).  If I may be trite, a news story is what it is.

And the Royals are what they are, with or without my chiding.

So let’s face it: the Royals are an abomination. They may not be on the exact level of abomination as the Pirates, but they are close behind.  Just look at the rosters for those two intrasquad teams mentioned in the linked article:

Team 1: Scott Podsednik, LF; Chris Getz, 2B; David DeJesus, RF;
Josh Fields, 3B; Rick Ankiel, CF; Alberto Callaspo, 2B; Wilson Betemit,
DH; Ernesto Mejia, 1B; Brayan Pena, C.

Team 2: Mitch Maier, LF; Jason Kendall, C; Billy Butler, 1B;
Jose Guillen, RF; Alex Gordon, 3B; Scott Thorman, DH; Mike Aviles, 2B;
Brian Anderson, CF; Yuniesky Betancourt, SS.

Now, tell me you aren’t laughing as hard as I am.

Was that a bit harsh?

I don’t know.  Isn’t it a bit harsh on the five or six fans left in Kansas City to know that their big offseason acquisitions include an old guy who used to run well, a walking concussion who can’t hit a breaking ball and another old guy who… well, okay, Jason Kendall might teach those kids something… but Wilson Betemit!?! WTF!?!?

All jokes aside, I can tell you this: there was a time when Royals baseball invoked fear in the minds of all opponents.  Nowadays the only thing invoked by the Kansas City Royals is a quick change of the channel.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.






    You writing about how bad the Royal’s are =’s me looking forward to another possible good year from the White Sox’s. Now if only the Tiger’s and the Twin’s would wave the white flag in spring training,we could have our AL Central Champs shirts made up by the AllStar break!! I left the Indian’s out on purpose. There not going to be any good this year either.
    Mike :}

  2. redstatebluestate

    Ted — LOL. I think they both lost.
    Cici — I hear ya. They make mine look really good.
    Matt — That’s the spirit!
    Julia — Fuhgettaboutit!
    Mike — You’re right… like I said before, I think the Twins are all the Sox need worry about this year. The Indians have a lot of prospects… so maybe 3-4 years before they scare anyone again.
    Cat — Uh…. I know it’s not. Even the Royals know it’s not. I’m sorry, but ya can’t win in the Major Leagues with that lineup.
    Blue Eyes — Those were the days… yep…. not too far out of my lifetime.

  3. devilabrit

    I lived in Kansas for a couple of years, okay was in Wichita but even so the college basketball KU had more fans than the Royals. Though it’ll be another good year to see the Indians and Royals fight for last place…
    Outside the Phillies Looking In

  4. redstatebluestate

    Peter — Agreed. Wait, they play basketball at KU? Haha.
    Jane — Yep. I’m also the only boy. So there ya have it 🙂

  5. redstatebluestate

    Holly — Yep. And the Redbirds have to play them two series a year, to satisfy the made-up-rivalry people at MLB who think an I-70 series matters (it doesn’t).
    Emma — Two words: George Brett. And those days are long gone.

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