A couple of days ago my piously pithy colleague, Mr. Krause, decided to undermine my loyalty to the St. Louis Cardinals. He spewed verbal chum as if I were cheating on my dear Redbirds by patronizing the White Sox.
Juvenile, Mr. Krause. Simply juvenile.
Look. This is known. I’m a Cardinals fan. A St. Louis loyalist. A redbird lifer. No question.
But I don’t live in St. Louis. I live on the Southside of Chicago, mere blocks from Sox Park. And I love baseball. So I’m going to see a lot of White Sox games over the course of a season. Call me a cheater, call me a liar, I could care less. Baseball is baseball, no matter what color the unis are.
So yeah, I’ll say it again: I’m a Cardinals fan, White Sox supporter. Eat it, Mr. Krause. The only time said allegiances will ever raise concern is this October when the two teams meet in the World Series, at which time you’ll find me with my Molina jersey and an interlocking STL on my cap. I don’t even have to think about it.
Now, Mr. Krause on the other hand, finds himself in a bit of trouble. At the suggestion of Mr. Jonestein, the RSBS interns and I were more than quick to disprove his most atrocious declaration, which I will repeat here for dear readers galore:
“Me, I bleed Tiger blue and often experience stigmata in the shape of an
old English “D.” I am faithful to the Tigers to the point of willful
ignorance concerning the other 31 or however many teams there are in
Major League Baseball.”
Okay, first of all, dummy, there are 30 teams in Major League Baseball, not 31. Second, zombies don’t bleed, so I don’t know how you can bleed ‘Tiger blue’ (is that even blue or is it just light black?). Finally, the interns’ research usurps your ability to wiggle out of a lie.
And I have proof:
Yeah, okay, Mr. Krause. I guess when you refer to the English “D” you’re implying that it stands for DECEIVER.
If there’s a Tigers hell (they’d show constant reruns of all the 2006 Tigers’ World Series fielding errors), you are definitely goin’ there, brother.
So don’t hate me, ‘cuz you know I’m right.