The RSBS Digest: Underclothing

arod_adjusting_cup.jpgAs important as clothing may be to the average person, even more important is the cloth that embraces your “swimsuit area.”  There are different schools of thought here, ranging from your father and his single-minded whitey-tighty fanaticism to the homeless guy on the corner free-balling it under a pair of sweatpants for less restricted access.

And there are more exotic schools including the devotees of the boxer-brief (I count myself among them) with all the comfort of a boxer and the stability of a brief, directors of Roman era film epics and their appreciation for the loincloth and Mormons with their ultra-secret special underwear.

My personal feeling, though, is that athletes get the shaft in all of this because there is nothing worse than wearing a cup.  Do you think baseball players are constantly adjusting themselves because they think it looks cool?  No way, man.  Playing with yourself in public is not cool anywhere (except certain clubs in Thailand).  Those cups hurt.  Sensitive areas constantly being pinched, awkward one-size-fits-all sizing that doesn’t really fit anyone and the thing never stays in one place.  Granted, when it comes down to choosing between comfort and the ability to reproduce, 9 times out of 10 RSBS picks comfort.  But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s an imperfect solution to a very real problem.

If only we could all just be comfortable in our underclothing.  For instance, even if comfort isn’t the stated aim of this current American Apparel campaign, that’s the lesson we have decided to take from it anyway.  No, don’t thank us.  We’re just doing our job.

-A

9 comments

  1. raysrenegade

    Alan,
    Thank goodness our technology has not advanced enough for us to make human skin attachments simlilar to our favorites velcro so we all can attach our clothing, or optional accessories within a jiffy with a swift rip of that NASA-inspired clothing option.
    Would make shaving daily/nightly a necessity for sure.

    Rays Renegade

    http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

  2. devilabrit

    I have to wonder, was the shut out of the Tigers by the Phillies, is it the constant barraging from Jeff, is it total boredom, or is there a deeper sense of something troubling Al these days, because I cannot think of any realistic or sane reason behind anyone with an ounce of normality in their body searching the interwebs/internets for a picture of A-Rod sitting playing with himself while making it look like he’s trying to figure out which way a cup fits while leering across the dugout at Jeter…

    ~peter
    Outside the Phillies Looking In
    http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com

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