The Filibuster

Any Opening Day rituals? I always wear the same shirt.

Barrington, IL

huge beer fridge.jpgJust so we are all clear on this, let it be known that I try to change my shirt at least once every day, every two days if I’m really strapped for time and/or laundry detergent.  I mean, I do have a wild side, but I ain’t no goddamn hipster.

But that’s not what you meant, Pete, and for that, I wish I could apologize. 

Rituals?  Hell yes.  Indeed, dear readers, I may be a logical, reason abiding secularist, but that doesn’t mean I can’t dip into the crazy pool every once in a while, just for fun.

In fact, the following is a short checklist of things I must have for opening day to complete me:

It will never nag, it will never whine, it will never talk.  It doesn’t ask you to skip the game to go to some dinner party.  It doesn’t ask “does this make me look fat?”  It won’t flip out, drunk dial you at 5 a.m. and force you to change all the locks on your doors.  Beer is your friend, people.  Make sure you have it.  Lots of it.

Um, you can have pizza without beer and beer without pizza, but why would you do something like that?  Opening Day calls for order — the first of a regimented 162 — so let’s all get on the same Utopian page and have some ‘za with our beer (this will cause heartburn for a lot of us, but it doesn’t matter. Man up!).

More Beer
Just when you think you have enough beer you realize you need more beer.  It happens all the time.  If you’re on a budget, Miller Lite, Old Style or Bud Light will work splendidly (though not Special Export or Hamm’s, unless you want to make out with the toilet later).  If money ain’t a thang I suggest Belle’s Oberon, Sam Adams anything or Trout Slayer — the ultimate baseball beer.  Whatever kind of beer you stock, make sure you have a lot of it.  Why?  Because on Opening Day you will also need…


And they will drink your beer.  You see, baseball isn’t the grandest game because of its simple complexity — not because of the inherent genius of setting the bases 90 feet apart (imagine the difference if they were set 95 feet apart); baseball is the grandest game because no matter what happens on the field, it can (and will) be shared among a diverse set of people with blanket understanding.  A generation gap does not exist.  Excluding the inflated numbers of the steroid era, everyone knows what it means to hit 60 homeruns.  And when Grand Daddy recollects a Sandy Koufax no-hitter, batter by batter, forty years after the fact without missing any details, I totally know what he’s talking about.  The game is meant to be shared, to be argued, to be held in collective awe by its supporters.  This is why I like to spend Opening Day with friends.  Besides, it helps to know you’re not alone… so make sure you have plenty of…

Because really, if we are going to be forced to watch another nauseating Yankees v. Red Sox matchup to start the season, we might as well be sauced enough to not mind.

And for me that would start around beer number nine…

So let’s get drinkin’!

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right!




Something on your mind?  Want to see Jeff and Al sweat (separately, not
together, eww)?  Think you got a real stumper?  Send us your Filibuster
question(s) by commenting or emailing them to us at 

***A clean shirt for Pete from Barrington also welcome.



  1. raysrenegade

    My ritual is a Coors Light on Opening Day.
    Maybe it goesn back to the first beer I drank on my 18th birthday being a Coors beer flowing from that golden can that was illegal in Florida back 1978.
    Besides that, I religiously go the same way nito the balpark and sit myself down near the RF foulpole and chat with the Rays relievers standing on the field during BP.
    The first ball I shag during BP always is held until later when I find a kid visitng the ballpark for the first time and toss the ball to the kid (there is always one new kid at the ballpark).
    But the evening begins with a cold,frothy Coors Light and the first Hot Dog with stadium mustard, inions and relish on it.
    After that, I can enjoy the rest of the 80 home games knowing the traditions are alive and well.

    Rays Renegade

  2. angelsgirl012

    hmmm i always watch opening day with my family 🙂 I know that sounds pretty trivial because we always watch games together but the first is always the best. However that tradition is going to break because i won’t be here for the opening day game! D: Hopefully Jered does well! I have complete faith in him!

  3. iliveforthis

    Jefferson, I saw a billboard the other day that said something about “beer thirty” and it made me think of you. Unfortunately, I didn’t even have time to go to the store, so I don’t even have beer, and definitely not any ‘za. I’ll just have to make up for it when I watch my Rockies tomorrow.

  4. redstatebluestate

    RR — Coors Light, eh? Interesting… I have no problems with it, but those sorts of beers all taste similar to me. They had a low calorie beer called Aspen Edge at one point. It was good. Now it’s gone forever.
    Mimi — With the fam?! That’s a great way to spend it!
    Peter — Corona ain’t bad… I will allow it.
    Emmy — YAY! Holla at my boy Ubaldo when you do. He’s one of my guys now 😉
    Cici — It IS fun! And easy. Just make something up and stick with it. LOL.
    Emma — I like that too… add a Dodger dog and I’m in.

  5. Elizabeth D.

    Not all women are disruptive during baseball games ;). But some of them are… like my friends who aren’t baseball fans who try to contact me during a game and ask why I am so anti-social during baseball season. I tell them I’d be very social if they were baseball fans.
    Nice rituals you’ve got there. Mine is skipping school to watch every single game!

  6. bklyntrolleyblogger

    Ritual? Going to the game or staying home. Either way it’s a day off for me and I pity the fool who stops me.
    E-gad!! You have hipsters too?!?! I thought that was a Williamsburg(BKN) phenomena. I call them modern day pioneers in search of their urban fantasy. Cans of RAID are ineffective. I tried.

  7. zelig888

    Elizabeth — I know, you’re right, but those types of women seem to be the ones that I attract unfortunately.
    Jane — Change it up! Wade Boggs… never doubt the power of a pizza 🙂
    Mike — I WISH I had the day off. Raid? Really? I’m trying it 🙂
    Buz — I agree… and Steven could use a better plastic surgeon than anything.

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