Oh, I know… cover the Clark and Addison entrance with a giant picture of Lou Piniella’s distended belly.
It’s historic. It’s sentimental. It’s old timey.
Where else can you pay ten times the market price for a 20 ounce can of Old Style? Where else can you gather around a trough with a hundred other men and urinate in drunken unison? Where else can you go to hear D-list celebrities butcher a classic song by singing out of tune?
Only at Wrigley Field.
I was p!ssed when they added the Bud Light Bleachers (bleacher tickets should not be $44 a piece, people)… I was p!ssed when they added the Captain Morgan Club… and with the addition of these gaudy action portraits, I am beyond p!ssed at the team I love to hate.
People like Wrigley because it’s authentic. It’s classic. It’s historic.
And because the Cubs lose there.
But slowly, as they add an advertisement here, a sports bar there and a fully functioning urinal there, Wrigley Field is slowly becoming just like every place else…
Not Wrigley Field.
So don’t hate me… ‘cuz I’m right.