Losing to the LOLstros

hunter pence LOLstros.jpgAs a proud paragon of Redbird loyalism, I still pompously refuse to forgive and forget the awful defeat handed to us by the Houston Astros during the 2005 NLCS.  That… was… awful.  I think I went on a two week bender.

I don’t remember.

But I do remember one thing: I do not like the Astros.  So you can imagine my grief, dear readers, as I watched their bid for an 0-162 season come to an end on Thursday… again, against the St. Louis Cardinals.

WTF IS IT THAT MAKES BUD NORRIS SO UNHITTABLE TO THE BIRDS ON THE BAT?!? EH!?!? WELL!?!?!

Whatever.

That one little win (their first win) is just that: one little win.  It doesn’t change the fact that the Astros suck. 

So yeah.

And it’s times like these — when jaded, seething, vexed — that I turn to Japan… for a little glimpse of happy time:

Ah… nothin’ makes me smile like a psilocybin-fueled walking canine with a crowned doll head pushing doggie treats to unmonitored and impressionable little kids.

Happy Friday, Y’all!

Jeff

*Special thanks to Shan for coining (and sharing) the term “LOLstros”, which is effing hilarious (and true). You can follow her on Twitter here: @Shan_Cake

11 comments

  1. rrrt

    Very strange. What on earth is that product? Some sort of hallucinogenic snack food? As for the Astros, I had another name for them back in 1980, when the Phils battled it out with them for the NL pennant, but it may be the same as Mike’s. Let’s just say it was anatomical.
    Sue
    Rants, Raves, and Random Thoughts

  2. redstatebluestate

    Mike — Yeah… I like that name too. As for the nightmares… welcome to my world.
    Sue — I’m pretty sure they’re doggie treats. That 1980 NLCS was one of the best ever played though wouldn’t ya say?
    Mike — Glad you noticed the “happy” part, lol. I was too busy burying my head in shame to notice.
    –Jeff

  3. stonebutch99

    You can make that TWO little wins now Jeff!
    Did Jane actually say she never thinks of the Astros AT ALL- like never? That hurt because I’m sure I’ve mentioned the Astros to her before, I guess she has a block on me.

    BTW-I’m not “LOL-ing” at the LOLstros. 😉

    http://stonebutch99.mlblogs.com

  4. devilabrit

    I guess the Cards are getting used to losing now, they seem to have taken a liking to it, since they are doing it more often these days… with teams that well…. SUCK….. and why was that dog covering it’s privates up with a plate in each hand, you sure that isn’t one of those illegal Japanese videos…

    -peter
    Phillies Outside

  5. redstatebluestate

    Kinged Horn — I think I understand your comment. Wait, no I don’t 🙂
    Jane — You’re not missin’ much.
    Matt — Dude, I hate to say it but I like what I’m seein’ from the Pirates thus far. Pretty impressive.
    Butch — As long as it’s against the sCrUBS you can win as many as you like! Go for it!
    –Jeff

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