Bermuda Triangle, Meet the NL Central

dusty baker reds.jpgNot everything can be explained.  You know this.

Why bad things happen to good people, why Hanley Ramirez is a lollygagger, what happened to Nancy Pelosi’s original face… these are all concerning issues without concrete and true catalytic roots. 

They simply cannot be explained.

And just like boats and planes and people that disappear within the Bermuda Triangle — scoffing at science, bending the rules of reason — so too are the circumstances of the National League Central Division and its teams as mysterious as they are unanswerable.

So let’s see if we can get this right:

The Pirates suck but they are able to beat the hell out of the Cubs.

The Cubs suck but they are able to beat the hell out of the Brewers.

The Brewers suck but they are able to beat the hell out of the Pirates.

The LOLstros may deal Oswalt and/or Berkman but no one is really watching or caring anyway.

The Cardinals are in second place.

And Dusty Baker hasn’t ruined anyone’s career yet as his Reds stand on top of the division.

nancy.pelosi.jpgI have a feeling this may be one of those FML moments.  Of course, it is only May 18th, so it’s still way too early to start complaining like a Red Sox fan.

But seriously, folks, I really would like to know what happened to Nancy Pelosi’s original face…

Holla if you have any tips; in the meantime, don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

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14 comments

  1. xcicix

    It’s not just the NL central. Things have been bizarre all over, though the Reds certainly are the biggest surprise of all. It’s still early enough for plenty of choking to happen; don’t worry.

  2. devilabrit

    I am sure the more players the LOLstros trade the better the Cards will like it…. Pelosi’s original face does anyone know what that really is….

    -peter
    Phillies Outside

  3. redstatebluestate

    Mike — Manhole cover. Brilliant!
    Cici — True, though I take it more personally when the Birds ain’t on top. Plenty early, and the Cardinals will win the division, just not as easily perhaps as I once thought.
    The Game — I’m not hatin’ on the Red Sox… just sayin’ Sox fans tend to complain about everything…even when they’re winning 🙂
    Peter — Bud Norris. He’s the guy. He’s the one.
    Mike — Very true. I’m guessin’ it will all be right.
    –Jeff

  4. redstatebluestate

    Well, Matt, at least they kill the Cubbies… that’s what’s important, my friend.
    –Jeff

  5. redstatebluestate

    Jane — Unfortunately for Pelosi, it’s exactly the botox that makes her look so bad. I just can’t get used to that new face of hers.
    –Jeff

  6. raysrenegade

    Jeff,
    Jesus may hate the Chicago Cubs, but Satan will not returrn their calls either.
    Because you got to think that Cubs Manager Lou Piniella might even welcome back Chi-town wild child Milton Bradley if it gauranteed him a NL Central title.
    Piniella would let Charlie Sheen’s ex, Denise Richards sing in the 7th Inning stretch every night if a “W” proceeded her cat-like wailing.
    Heck they might even discuss Ozzie Osborne as a commentator if they/he could make a package deal with the devil to get past the first round of the playoffs.
    But then again, this is a team that destroyed a baseball caught by an unsuspecting fan who might have been a angel in disguise.

    Maybe it has been longer than we think that Jesus hated the Cubs!

    Rays Renegade

    http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

  7. redstatebluestate

    RR — No matter what, Jesus will continue to hate them. Jesus and I… we go way back. Way back to jr. high.
    –Jeff

  8. redstatebluestate

    Cat — No one needs Oswalt more than the Dodgers right now. I don’t wanna hear about a discount… it’s Hollyweird! Make it happen, Frankie!
    –Jeff

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